Monday, April 30, 2007

Healthy is Boring

I usually stand by my belief that if you want to eat something healthy, stay away from fast food restaurants - even taco bell. what is the point of removing all the good stuff so that their food is just not as bad for you? might as well have a salad than eat something that would be delicious if only it had sour cream, and cheese.

However, if pressed, I suppose I cannot deny that every little bit counts - that is, fewer calories here and there can certainly add up. Therefore, when I read this article about how to eat healthier at taco bell, I was not entirely peeved.

I will break it down, point by point:

1. Make your order “Fresco Style”
This means no cheese. it means cilantro and tomatoes and onions. I support that. try fresco style plus cheese but please don't try x-ing out the cheese.

2. Avoid the Grilled Stuft
I am okay with this idea. i like the grilled stuft but i don't love it. the suggestion to substitute the fiesta burrito is a fine one. the fiesta burrito is one of taco bell's semi-secret gems.

3. Don't be fooled by the salads.
Exactly. People tend to think salad=healthy. A misconception which is a combination of ignorance and marketing.

4. Head to the Border bowls
skip the steak bowls, chicken instead. well, i don't eat either so i am going to advocate that: BEANS, BEANS, BEANS.

5. Skip the Extras
if this means the potatoes and non-choco taco dessert, i concur. if it means a third bean burrito or nachos, i think easier said than done. and better said and not done.

Dear Will of Taco Bell

In my post (rant) about Taco Bell's recent marketing decision to encourage folks to write into TB about why their Significant Other should marry them, Will of Taco Bell responded, explaining the idea was not intended to be sexist and so on. It was appreciated.

With that said...

Dear Will,

thanks for taking official notice of my blog. i am not going to lie - this blog has propelled more than a few people to taco bell. just this weekend, i had an adamant discussion with my friend anne and a tobogan-wearing boy about the chalupa v. the gordita. he might not have normally thought of taco bell at midnight on a saturday night (he didn't strike me as the 4th meal type) but thanks to a blog discussion, he did. and when he went home, do you think he stopped off for a 4th meal? surely...

this is a request for commission, however. that will follow (to whose attention?).

thanks for the stats: glad to hear my anger was unwarrented (quite unusual). i don't think i will be ready for a marriage proposal by july but good to know that it would be acceptable, should i be ready, for me to pop the question to some lucky fellow. I don't know if this development will outweigh the fact that war might destroy the earth before global warming gets its chance but it's comforting should I be ready for marriage before either of those disasters takes place (unlikely).
who pays for the ring if the girl proposes? have you research on that as well? in keeping with my feminist ideology, i think the woman should pay. then the man has to wear an engagement ring and doesn't get to flirt with other girls in the run-up to the wedding because people will assume he's already tied the knot. girls, on the other hand, can keep the bachelorette status alive and kickin'.

i don't eat meat, will, but i do like customizing my orders at taco bell. \ i didn't know there was a 3 cheese blend. what kind of cheeses?

what happened to the green sauce taco bell used to have at select locations?

what was the fire and ice taco Wikipedia mentioned? one of those lies wikipedia perpetuates?

what does the inside of the "new" taco bell restaurants look like?

what happened to the choco taco?

what is the next limited time only menu item to come out of your HQ?

if i learn the answer to any of these questions, my excitement will reach a dangerous level so best to cut it off at the pass.

if all these questions make you regret acknowledging your knowledge of my blog to me and you can't respond, i will hold no hard feelings.


Friday, April 27, 2007


A couple of months ago I endorsed Bill Richardson for the Democratic nominee for president.
It was mainly out of anger that Hilary and Barack were talking smack and I like them both and all that stuff. you can just read the post for yourself.

but barack and hilary appear to like each other in this photo and they didn't "trade barbs" last night too terribly - you know, for a debate. Whether genuine or not (and i hope it is), i really hope last night's debate is an indication of what's to come: thoughtful and intelligent discussion that focuses on the faults and corruption of the bush administration and congressional republicans.

Not Again...

Do you remember Taco Bell's ebay engagement ring fiasco last year? All the proceeds were to go the the Taco Bell fund (or something) - an organization for at risk teens/kids. Taco Bell put a big ol diamond ring on worth $14,000 on ebay, hoping people would jump at the chance to buy a ring sold by Taco Bell. It didn't make a lot of since - not just the pricetag but why would anyone associate Taco Bell with rings and marriage.

Well, apparently Taco Bell thinks it's the fast food chain that most appreciates love and marriage because they are rolling out another doozy of a marketing scheme as you can read in its press release. The title of this press release is Taco Bell® Says ``I Do'' to One Lucky Sports Fan. Now try not clicking on the link I've provided and reading about it. I promise you will be appalled and mystified and a little amused.

This ploy combines sports (baseball), the 7-layer crunchwrap, and love. naturally. I mean, sure when think of Taco Bell and the 7-Layer Crunchwrap (even though I haven't had it yet), I think love. I think i want to marry it. I think if i were to ever marry a person, i would be cheating on Taco Bell. It certainly stirs up some complicated feelings and creates a dilemma or two. But Taco Bell does not prompt me to want to marry someone or make me think about baseball. I guess that means I am not the target audience.

The contest requires contests to list “7 reasons why your significant other would be lucky to marry you.” Yes, every woman and man out there wants a proposal of marriage based on why he or she is lucky to be with someone, first and foremost - not why that person is lucky to have said proposee. The sports theme indicates that men are the targets - and yes, usually it's the guy who does the proposing since it's a man's world and all that bs. It's just too sad to me that Taco Bell rightly assumes that men would perfer to write about why they are so wonderful rather than admit that they can't get by without a woman. This post is about to turn into a bitter, angry, feminist rant. Since it's Friday and I would prefer to be happy even though I am still wet from my long walk in the rain this morning, I am going to cut that rant short.

I am angry at Taco Bell, though. And men. And Fox.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

More on the 7-Layer Crunchwrap

Apparently it's no longer just in Ohio.

Erin reported to me yesterday she saw it advertised in Boston.
This gave me hope: if it's in Boston, it must be in the DC metro area (maybe not the DC Taco Bells because we urbanites steal sauce and must be punished but nonetheless i feel the time is near when I will be able to try this enticing item).

Further proof: is now advertising the 7-Layer Crunchwrap and I have official word what each layer is:

1. beans
2. nacho cheese sauce (i recommend subsituting this for real shredded cheese, of course)
3. zesty red sauce (this must be the kind they put on the enchirito! yum!!)
4. red tortilla strips!
5. sour cream
6. guacamole
7. tomatos

i would like some onions and lettuce as well: why not make it a 9-Layer, really? but all the same it sounds WONDERFUL!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Another reason I should be a groupie...

Check out this article on a new cookbook.

First, i want to own it. What do you think is Jeff Tweedy's favorite recipe? Maybe it's not in this cookbook. Maybe that is a good thing because I would make it every night.

Second, and more poignantly (to this blog at least), as you will read in this article, the indie rockers love taco bell. yeah, i figured - they are "cool" and "talented" and "often vegetarian" and "sometimes broke" so why wouldn't they appreciate a good, cheap, bean and cheese filled meal. Nonetheless, I appreciate confirmation of my assumption. And their admiration for Taco Bell emphasizes the very base of this blog: love for taco bell is universal. whereas you might not have been hard pressed to find a link between ashlee simpson and conor oberst, look no more. dumb hollywood starlets, cute yet troubled musicians, college educated non-profit employees: we are all the same. why is world peace so difficult to find?

Friday, April 20, 2007


not as big as the 7-layer crunchwrap but substantial nonetheless:

US Weekly reports this week:

On [Ashley Simpson's] rumored hookup with Ryan Phillippe: “That was absolutely not true. I’m pretty sure I [went home] that night with my friend Nicole. I’m pretty sure we went to Taco Bell…Can I not even talk to a guy?”

and Nicki Hilton's favorite fast food: Taco Bell's Mexican pizza


the subject of this post is not an exaggeration.

I know those reading this post might feel inundated with the number i have posted today. Most of them are not going to affect your daily life so you might be questioning how you spend your time: do you really have time for this blog? has your life gotten so pathetic that you have resorted to looking at pictures some girls posts of Taco Bell? Maybe self-reflections have begun spiral out of control, bringing you to the brink of quitting your job, your home, your city, your family, your friends, your pets.

Well, let me stop you because there is big news that you may not have heard because I hadn't.

The 7-layer crunchwrap!

It's new.

It's vegetarian.

It's bound to be delicious. the combination of the 7 layer burrito AND the crunchwrap? i can't even deal with the possibility of what joy this taste will bring me.

I discovered that taco bell has introduced this menu item in some parts of the country because I noticed that people were googling "7 layer crunchwrap". in this google search, my May 17, 2006 post is the first one to pop up. After getting a little starstruck at my own stardom, i continued reading the other sites mentioned the 7 layer crunchwrap.

i found this:

1. The newest promotional item is the 7-Layer Crunchwrap Supreme, a vegetarian crunchwrap much like the 7-Layer Burrito. (yahoo news)

2. 7 Layer Crunchwrap Supreme-This is a new product to the Bell, so even though I was disappointed with the beef crunchwrap I decided to give it a shot. It had the same burnt one side as the beef one. The filling was quite good. 6 Happy Mexicans out of 10 (someone in canada)

3. Originally offered only with beef, a spicy chicken Crunchwrap Supreme has since been introduced. Since each Crunchwrap Supreme is cooked to order due to the nature of the product, it is possible to order one with or without certain ingredients. Recently a vegetarian version, the 7-layer crunchwrap has appeared in some locations. (wikipedia)

4. Still have not found this 7 layer crunchwrap even on the east coast (someone on myspace)

5. THEY HAVE THEM IN OHIO: 7757 Tylersville Road10am-3am Sun-Thurs . 10am-4am Fri-SatLebanon10am-1am Sun-Thurs . 10am-3am Fri-Sat5418 Kings Center Way10am-2am Sun-Thurs . 10am-3am Fri-SatLoveland10am-1am Sun-Thurs . 10am-2am Fri-Sat. WHY DID I EVER LEAVE OHIO?

The New Look

As some of you may recall, Taco Bell is giving its restaurants a new look. they are shooting for a more authentic Mexican look. i know the "more" in that sentence might be controversial. however, what is more controversial is what they apparently think constitutes authentic Mexican. fake stone, bright orange, tacky bright colors in a very 80s pattern, and a fancy little silver swirl up top--because why the hell not?
Don't get me wrong: if i passed this building, i would slam on the breaks and run inside immediately. we now know what authentic mexican means to taco bell on the outside but what does it mean on the inside?

I Guess This Works...

This PR attempt is a little desperate for my taste, but surely it's an indication that Taco Bell has, indeed, fallen on hard times - times that a breakfast menu might not even be able to rectify. alas...However, some people need to hear these words even if comes from glowing sign.


by excitement for dinner or by booze?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Too Good to Be True?

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly dating KFed.

Yes, the report references making love.

And yes, something this great and ridiculous is a little hard to swallow as truth. it's quite easy to swallow as the latest piece of wonder to come out of Hollywood, though. Imagine the trashiness that could result with the merging of these two celebs. I love it. No, not the same kind of love I intend when I say that I love that Reese and Jake are dating. It's a more shallow, selfish love...made to fit the couple, of course. I don't know that LiLo has proved her love for Taco Bell but surely KFed will help her out with that. Just like she will help him out raising all his babies. It will be beautiful.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Australia Reports on the Soup Nazi

Friday, April 13, 2007


Happy Friday!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Now This Menu is Something I Can Support

I found this picture on the www. I am guessing employees at this Taco Bell either didn't see this picture snapped or were less Nazi-like than a certain manager with whom I had a run-in at an Ohio Taco Bell last summer (i was told it was ILLEGAL and i must delete).
But water under the bridge.
Let's compare this menu to an article I read (and posted) last week from Omaha in which bacon was the main ingredient in the new breakfast menu. I said boo. I talked some smack about Omaha. I worried that bacon would not be easily replaceable with beans because of the texture difference. I did not see a menu item about which I could rave and rejoice.
Now I have.
Egg, bean, and cheese burrito! Alright. Washington, DC is ready for you, my friend.
Cinnamon tostadas? is that just another name for cinnamon twists to make us think they are okay to eat in the morning? Well, I am sold.
I am still vauge on these breakfast bell potatoes.
But if you look very closely, you will see a bacon egg cruchwrap. this reads bean egg crunchwrap to me. i love it already. seriously, taco bell, if you won't give me a job, will you at least bring your breakfast menu to the dc area asap?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Dear Taco Bell:

Please give me a job.

I can work from home.

I want to work for you.

I know you check this blog so consider this my application.

Experience: eating Taco Bell, loving Taco Bell, writing about Taco Bell. And a B.A. to boot.



Monday, April 09, 2007

Montreal Taco Bell revisited

We'll recall when Taco Bell opened a restaurant in Montreal a few months ago: the lines were long, people who excited, Canada was able to once again "connect" with Americans. It was a beautiful.

Well, what we didn't know was a "KFC" was attached to it.

Or should I say a "PFK".
So they leave Kentucky in the name and change the "chicken" but what does the F stand for? Fried in French? or just French? Chicken French Kentucky. yes, i am having some laughs over where other languages place adjectives.
The most important information about the link to this post on the Metroblogging Montreal site is the stinginess said reporter experienced with the sauce packets. I am surprised, dear Canada, at your stinginess. Good thing I never got my act together to move to your fair country.

I Don't Like the Word "Foodie"

It's too trendy, too pretentious, too new age.

However, I respect the writer of this article "Taco Bell -- Top Underrated Spot" even though the subtitle is "Why True Foodies Love T Bell." I wish he didn't use "foodie" to make his point that people who enjoy good food--quality ingredients, unusual recipes, unique flavors--also enjoy Taco Bell for these very reasons (okay, maybe not the "quality ingredients" part). I don't know that I have noticed this difference between the Taco Bell of TODAY and the Taco Bell of YESTERYEAR because I loved it yesteryear as i love it today. Sure, the crunchwrap and cheesy gordita crunch and grilled stuft burritoes are ingenius additions to the Taco Bell experience but their introduction has only made my life harder. what to order is harder than it's ever been.

Friday, April 06, 2007

I Want to Be the Test Market

Taco Bell is testing its "breakfast menu" out in a few markets throughout the country. This is tentatively (i believe) call the "think outside the biscuit" campaign. that's a good slogan except that I don't think it's in their best interest to remind people who want breakfast that there are biscuits to be had because, i mean, who doesn't love a biscuit?

In any case, Omaha has been picked as one of the test cities.


Where everyone loves Bush and Meat.

As reported in the link above, here are some of the menu items:
1. sausage and bacon grilled burrito
2. a guacamole bacon grilled burrito
3. a bacon and egg taco
4. Bell breakfast potatoes.

I usually stand my belief that beans can be substituted for just about any meat at Taco Bell. On these items, I am not sure. Bacon and ground beef or chicken are very different textures than beans. And what are "bell breakfast potatoes"? a new name for the fiesta potatoes or hash browns.

In any case, I don't trust Omaha to tell Taco Bell wherein the breakfast menu faults lie--unless the employees and musicians of Saddle Creek Records get on the bandwagon with this test campaign.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

It is Not Just Taco Bell

Other restaurants have rat problems too. Inside Edition, the well established and very trustworthy investigative "news" program found a little rat problem at a few DC restaurants as reported.

I guess, in mentioning this instance, I also have to admit that it is not just New York City that is so dirty but DC as well. My allegience apparently lies more with Taco Bell than my residence.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I Knew It Would Happen One Day...

A story involving George Clooney AND Taco Bell. Sure, we all have known for sometime that he is delicious as an enchirito (and number 1 on my celebrity list) but that link is somewhat of a stretch. I didn't think David Spade and a homeless man would complete the link but who am I to doubt something called fate, luck, or coincidence.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Pelosi Takes Syria

What better way to get back into blogging than talk some smack about President Bush?

Apparently Bush is none too pleased with Nancy Pelosi's trip to Syria.

Attempting to find common ground (i.e. prevent terrorism and war) with an agruably bad government takes all the fun away from countries who want to laugh at the U.S. for making another bad foreign policy decision. You see, the "war on terror" does not involve attempts at peaceful negotiations because that lessens the chance of war waging. Peace=boring. War=tough.

I know i have to regain your trust

I have been an infrequent blogger of late--to say the least.

My apologies.

Please come back.

About two months ago, I gave you a sob story of a list of why I hadn't been putting my all into this blog. I didn't expect to have to give you excuses again. I am tempted to write another list of sob stories to explain my absence but instead I will just prove my rededication to this blog and will work to regain your loyalty through tireless posts that prove as informative and thought provoking as those of yesteryear (2006). In my defense, I have not been cheating on you with other blogs, websites, books, or mcdonalds. When I say I was working, I really was. And I still love Taco Bell more than any other Mexican fast food chain. The passion has not dwindled, only my time.

Thank you.