Friday, June 30, 2006

A Comment on KFC

Since YUM! company owns both TB and KFC, I feel that including very rare posts that are not 100% affliated with Taco Bell is not completely impure.

The photo above depicts a heart attack in a bowl, recently introduced by KFC. It has been oft talked about in my various circles of friends over the last month or two. Yet again, Ash and I found ourselves on the topic of this ridiculous concept. Okay, not only ridiculous but really disgusting. FAR more disgusting than Taco Bell's cheesy FIESTA potatoes. I guess when I get stuck on one of the rare points of contention I have with Taco Bell, I should find something much more offensive some place else. That's how i do "positive".

Now, before y'all pro-heart attack bowls get all "well you just think it's gross because you don't eat meat and non-meat eaters like to talk about how gross meat is and therefore your opinion is invalidated before we even hear it", let those of you who know me remember that i am not only a relatively recent non-meat eater and therefore wary of being a hypocrit, but I also know better than to talk trash about meat. While I don't foresee getting back on the meat bus anytime soon, the last thing I want to do is commit to any sort of permanent lifestyle. So I have an open mind. I even think the spicy chicken crunchwrap sounds delicious for those who partake in eating poor animals who were raised in awful conditions and were never treated with an ounce of humanity. hardy har har.

SO that said, mashed potatoes, corn, cheese, fried chicken, and--why the hell not--a hardy helping of gravey in a bowl is an astounding concoction. why did KFC leave out the mac and cheese and cole slaw and green beans? and why not put a biscuit on the bottom of all this mess?

I Can't Get On This Train

I don't understand how Taco Bell decided it should include cheesy potatoes on its menu. What is Mexican about this item? The "nacho" cheese? Nooooo. The cubed potatoes? No way. The mere fact that Taco Bell inserted "Fiesta" into the name? Pathetic.

Perhaps I should watch my complaints: At least these aren't French...nay Mexican...fries. And I haven't tried these either so I do run the risk of complaining about the stupidity of this dish, tasting it and subsequently loving it, Taco Bell removing it from the menu because they've read this post and, knowing that I am right about all other things, assume I am right about this bit as well. And boom, I'll have shot myself in the foot--or rather, the mouth. But that is a risk I have to take since I am not going to get on board with this Fiesta delight.

Beans Lost

Thursday, June 29, 2006

My bad...

According to, Taco Bell still serves the cinnamon twists.

That's ashame.

AND the website doesn't list the chocotaco.

I am confused.

At least I didn't see French Fries on the website.

A shocking desire

I endured a troubling revelation last night.

Ganga and her best friend told me they wished Taco Bell served French fries. Ganga claimed that Taco Bell isn't so authentically Mexican that serving fries would be a terrible affront. Excusssssssse me.

Shocked and dismayed was I. To the point of questioning my friendship with Ganga? You bet.

I haven't recovered.

Thankfully, the conversation hit a lighter note when we laughed about the terrible cinnamon twists Taco Bell used to serve--and we used to love.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

As you wish, whipcreamy...

here's the bum bum picture whipcreamy requested. someone put a complimentary sticker on Chalups' bottom. Indication #984 that baby baggage was a hit.

Bonnaroo Baby!

For those of you who have attended weekend long music festivals, you know that it's sometimes quite hard to meet up with friends after splitting up for a band or two. In Austin last fall, we noticed that many people amend this problem by carrying around flagpoles with distinct flags/tops for easy spotting.

We wanted to do this for Bonnaroo.

We wanted a babydoll on top of our pole. The reasons for this decision harken back to a number of instances over the years. None of them are Taco Bell related so for purity sake, I cannot develge all these reasons.

It was a long and hard search through dollar store after dollar store for a babydoll. DC, Boston, Ohio all failured us. Sadly, we had to turn to the last option: Wal-Mart. We found our Bonnaroo baby there--quickly and cheaply. After purchasing her, we went to Taco Bell and then set about naming her.

Refrita (instead of refried, of course) and Burrita were two runners-up.
Chalups won, though. SHe looks like a Chalups. But this picture of her, taken in the car, earned her the name "Baby Baggage" because she's holding the bag and because, well, babies are baggage.

We took a lot of funny pictures of the baby. I am torn about posting them. This picture is the only relevant one. Hmmm....

Well, enjoy the joy that Baby Baggage Chalups inspires as I ponder what to do.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A Taco-Political Question

If the U.S. builds a great wall between the U.S. and Mexican border, what will happen when those, like Joey Burns, make a run for the border?

Will there be detour signs? Will the minutemen question our arrival at the border and assume we have intentions other than crunchwraps? Will Taco Bell switch its name to American Bell of Freedom, Democracy, and Jingoism, decrying all previous relations to Mexican food?

Joey Burns DEFINATELY Makes a Run for the Border

Last night I saw Calexico, a band from Tucson. As the name suggests, there's a little bit of Mexico in the music. And it was an INCREDIBLE show. An American band never made Mexican music so fun and wonderful.

I can't claim to know a whole lot about the origins of this band, but clearly the Arizona/California/Mexican border plays a large role.

And when I think border, I think Taco Bell. Would it be an exaggeration then to count Taco Bell as one of Joey's inspirations?

If you thought "yes", you've come to the wrong blog.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Crunchwrap to Compensate for an "Ulti-mate" Flop?

I jumped back into the blogasphere energetically thanks to the crunchwrap news.

I have bad news to report, though. No one has given me the "Ulti-mate Chalupa" diamond ring from E-bay. That's okay. I'm probably not ready to commit to a diamond, much less the guy attached to it. So no worries--the tearful breakdown was short and sweet, and I'll attribute all the ensuing snot to my sickness instead of the heartbreak.

More interesting is that my internet search into the results of the E-Bay bidding has produced nothing. I was out of town when the bidding ended. E-Bay search results since then claim to never have heard of the "ulti-mate chalupa". Google searches give me no results on the diamond's ultimate fetching or buyer. So, I must conclude: no one bid on the diamond. The Taco Bell Foundation wasted $10,000 on a ring no one wanted because the free shipping and free chalupa which was to accompany the ring was not enough incentive to marry. Maybe Taco Bell consumers aren't the marrying types. Maybe we rather spend our life savings of $10,000 on crunchwraps than a ring for a lovely girl like myself. Hey, I understand. I suppose my "ultimate" (no clever hypen intended) point is: Taco Bell wants to take the bad press off a media bite gone awry by introducing something much more clever and enticing: the spicy chicken crunchwrap. In light of this new menu item, who can remember diamond rings and free chalupas?

So ultimately (i must say it again), Taco Bell should stick to food, not diamonds. Shocking, yes?

News Flash: New Crunchwrap!!

I am back from a blog sabbatical. It lasted longer than enticipated due to a bit of a flu following my return from Bonnaroo. So, needless to say, I am brimming with news.

Taco Bell has introduced a NEW Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap at Taco Bell. OOOOh la-la. I am not currently eating meat (I use words like "currently" so as not to box myself into to any category or committment), but I still think this is a lovely addition to the menu. The more types of crunchwraps, the better. After all, let's recall that my tasting the crunchwrap for the first time motivated me to start this blog. I don't want to get too big for my blog britches and forget that one Saturday afternoon in Arlington, VA which did the unthinkable: increased my love for Taco Bell by leading me to regularly order something other than two bean burritoes.

With my vacation and sickness, I hadn't checked either the taco bell website or the television. My dad reported the news of the chicken crunchwrap to me yesterday with great glee. And now I will tell you another story of the ways in which the crunchwrap results in unthinkable things. My dad is "excited" about tasting the Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap. He thinks it sounds "delicious" and "quite tasty". Before my bloggal and verbal ramblings about the bean crunchwrap earlier this year, I don't think my dad had been to a Taco Bell in many, many blue moons. I know this cliche implies that I think he had been to a Taco Bell before in his life. He must have--he's alive, after all, but I can't really picture it. He's perhaps the best and most inventive cook I know so his endorsement of subsequent excitement over the crunchwrap is a valid indicator that Taco Bell produces above quality stuff.

I've requested some freelance reporting on this chicken crunchwrap from him and will convey the results when possible.

The release of this crunchwrap is "limited", fyi.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

An Update

Bids on Taco Bell diamond ring: 0
Taco Bell ring views: 147
Proposals: 0
Proposals Accepted: 0
Diamond rings in my possession: 0
Babies: 0
Playdough Taco Bell set in my possession: 0
Trips planned to feel cooler about myself, given the above statistics: 1

Something is rotten in the nonstate of DC--but nothing a road trip filled with Taco Bell and ending with great bands in Manchester, TN can't fix.

Please enjoy some crunchwraps and burritoes in my blog absense.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

One Ulti-"Mate" Chalupa, Please

Are Chalupas a Girl's Best Friend?
Taco Bell(R) Announces $10,000 Ulti-``Mate'' Chalupa

Celebrating the "Ultimate" extension of its popular Chalupa, Taco Bell(R) announced it will offer a one-of-a-kind, love-inspired and "outside the bun" combo for a pair of potential soulmates: the $10,000 Ulti-"Mate" Chalupa. This pairing includes a newlimited-time offer Ultimate Chalupa and a two carat diamond engagementring (valued at $14,000) and was unveiled today in Las Vegas, theWedding Capital of the World.

The Ulti-"Mate" Chalupa is available for purchase beginning today(starting at 6:00 a.m. PDT) during a week-long auction on eBay(keyword: Ultimate Chalupa), with bidding starting at $10,000. See site for purchase details. The proceeds from the auction will directlybenefit the Taco Bell Foundation, which has successfully raised morethan $15 million to benefit at-risk teens.

"With Ultimate Chalupa, we've created a Chalupa lover's dream, combining signature Taco Bell ingredients for a variety of flavors and textures in one bite," said Bill Pearce, Chief Marketing Officer ofTaco Bell Corp. "And we've taken this experience one step further withThe Ulti-'Mate' Chalupa. In fact, you could say it's a girl's bestfriend."

The Ultimate Chalupa features Taco Bell's signature crispy-yet-chewy Chalupa shell filled with layers upon layers of the flavorful ingredients, including marinated carne asada steak, fiesta salsa prepared fresh daily, sour cream, guacamole, a blend ofthree-cheeses and crisp lettuce. The limited-time-product carries a suggested retail price of $2.19 and is available through June 25 at participating Taco Bell locations.

Taco Bell Corp., a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., (NYSE:YUM),is the nation's leading Mexican-style quick service restaurant chain serving tacos, burritos, signature Quesadillas, Grilled StuftBurritos, nachos and other specialty items. Taco Bell serves more than 35 million consumers each week in nearly 5,800 restaurants in the U.S."Think Outside the Bun(R)" and visit

In case you have your skeps about this press release because it sounds a tad ridiculous, check it out:

Do you see what has happened? Yesterday, I write about having babies for the love of Taco Bell (and shoes), and today Taco Bell suddenly unfolds its latest marketing endeavor. You best believe the self-absorbed part of me assumes that Taco Bell is trying to help out an ever-faithful sista.

Which babydaddy-to-be loves Taco Bell and me enough to buy me this ring? Boys and Gentleman: shipping is free! See, it's a deal. Hell, I'm a deal. I wanted Taco Bell to cater my wedding even before this ebay item, combining love of Taco Bell, diamonds, and marriage, existed. Talk about cheap! Once I have the oft-mentioned baby, we will eat playdough burritoes when we run out of money for actual burritoes. All you really have to save up for is this GORGEOUS ring.

Only 49 people have checked out this ring so the competition isn't stiff . . . yet. The same cannot be said for those wanting to marry me--so get on it. I'm going out of town tomorrow night, and if I'm not spoken for beforehand, I might end up eloping in Nashville with a dirty hippie and his underfed dog.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Reasons I Want My Very Own Kids

A long time ago, I made a list of reasons why, one day (in the far, far future), I wanted to have kids.

I've aged, yes, but my list has remained the same:

1. another list--of names for kids. it's a good one so i should put it to use.
2. who's going to take care of me when i am old? someone else's kids? i doubt it. better error on the side of caution and have my own.
3. baby shoes. the detail on those minature shoes is ADORABLE in a "i want to eat those" way.

Obviously, I don't need another reason to fulfill a list which so convincingly depicts my love for children and readiness for motherhood.

But in the items pictured above, my enthusiasm for this thing they call "child-bearing" has gained new vigor. Hence, the long awaited reason number 4 has made an appearance. Playdough burritoes and tacos and crunchwraps and saucepackets! Oh my! Baby and I are going to have some fun. I just hope we don't end up eating too much of the playdough. It's going to be tough instilling this thing called "restraint" in a child reared on a love of taco bell.

Well, first thing first.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Happy Weekend from Grant Show

Pick whatever relevance to Taco Bell you like.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Opportunity Doesn't Knock. It Rings A Bell.

This title is the slogan for the Taco Bell job application. I picked it up a few weeks ago, intending to run home and blog about it. Instead I found myself in Baltimore, forgetting all about my new career path. Now I've lost interest. However, I haven't lost interest in sharing with you all the reasons YOU (not me) should work for Taco Bell.

I love how things work out so perfectly. Yes, I was going to write a bit about this application--surely it would have been witty and well written. You know...per usual. But would there have been relevance beyond simply the subject of Taco Bell? No...and that would be okay, but as luck would have it--or, if you prefer, as a great being (or should i say "bean". hahaha. couldn't pass up that pun.) would make it--this application discussion follows in a week in which the other almighty, K-Fed, declared that his babies will one day work for Taco Bell. SO we get to put ourselves in the shoes of his offspring.

The best part of the application is, of course, the pep-talk. I've never seen this sort of advertisement in applications I've filled out for food or retail services. See, Taco Bell not only cares about their customers and employers, but they even care about prospective employers (even those that it might reject).

I am going to relay this insert. Just sit back, enjoy, and pretend your mom is Britany Spears, former pop-tart and current unemployed stay at home mom of 1,000 kids. Long ago, your dad left her, your 999 sibblings, and you for a life devoted to cigarettes, wife beaters, baseball caps, and pimpin'. Luckily, you have ambition--ambition to be a "customer maniac".

And so Straight from the page of the job application:

What is a Customer Maniac?

At TACO BELL, we know treating people right is the key to running great restaurants. That's why we're always on the lookout for Customer Maniacs. They are the people who put our customers first and keep them coming back.

And a great Customer Maniac's energy and enthusiasm get noticed by everyone in the restaurant, including your co-workers. So when you do a great job, you'll get the recognition and rewards that you deserve.

But Customer Maniacs don't act alone. When you work here, you're part of our C.H.A.M.P.S. team--a team committed to an all-out effort to exceed customer expectations. At TACO BELL, we say C.H.A.M.P.S. is the smile on our face, the cheer in our voice and a YES! attitude throughout the day.


Cleanliness: The best environment for you and our customers.

Hospitality: Friendly, courteous service keeps customers coming back.

Accuracy: Making sure customers get exactly what they ordered.

Maintenance: Well-maintained facilities keep us looking and feeling good.

Product Quality: The same dining experience you expect when you eat out.

Speed with Service: Food delivered hot, fresh and fast makes TACO BELL's customers happy.

Obviously, not everyone has the skills and smarts to apply. Please don't fret if I've dashed your hopes. Even if you can't get a job at TB, you can eat there. In 15-20 years, just be careful not to make any snide remarks about the Federlines when you are at a Taco Bell. I hear they put mice in the burritoes.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Paris Revisted

Let’s recall Paris Hilton’s love for Taco Bell, as reported on a previous blog. I can’t remember if US Weekly says it’s this meal-time favorite that keeps her body all hot and shapely (that and the new boobs) or if this is her “indulgence”. Okay, I can—and it’s not the former but let’s pretend it is.

Now, Paris Hilton doesn’t have a lot going for her in my little black book of judgment, but I give credit where credit is good. Her palate is immaculate.

So in honor of Paris, I am pasting a link wherein you can hear her new single. Yes, ladies and gents, where there’s a rich girl, there’s a way to get her a best-selling album.

This single is NOT terrible. It’s all relative, really. If her single were polled against K-Fed’s latest hip hop endeavor, she’d win…easily.

Let’s break it down via analogy:

Paris’ new single:Federline’s new single::the Crunchwrap:the Gordita

I Can't Get Enough of K-Fed

Further evidence of how nicely this nice young chap can turn himself and his life around with a photo shoot. Look, he's a suave grad student in pennyloafers...and an upstanding, law abiding citizen... and a "catch ya later" friend with whom we can all relate! and still, deep down, he's just a Taco Bell loving dad.

Damn, Brit, you lucky bitch.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

People are Mean-Spirited and Really Gross

Michigan man who put dead mouse in Taco Bell burrito sentenced

Associated Press

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. - A man who stuffed a dead mouse into his Taco Bell burrito in a botched extortion attempt was sentenced Friday to 16 to 30 months in prison.
Ryan Daniel Goff, 20, pleaded guilty last month to a felony count of attempted false pretenses between $1,000 and $20,000.

Sheriff's investigators said Goff complained to a restaurant employee in January that his burrito tasted "funny."

Goff reported finding the mouse to the local health department and Taco Bell's regional manager. According to court records, he allegedly told the manager: "It won't be a good day if the media finds out about this."

But investigators said his girlfriend told them he purchased frozen mice from a pet store and put one of them in his burrito.

Goff's sentencing was just the latest in several recent cases of alleged extortion over body parts and dead animals in restaurant food.

In January, Anna Ayala, 40, was sentenced to nine years in prison for planting a severed human finger in a bowl of chili at a Wendy's restaurant in California in an extortion scheme. Her husband, Jaime Plascencia, 44, who obtained the finger from someone who lost it in an accident, was sentenced to more than 12 years in prison.

In April, Carla Patterson, 38, and her 22-year-old son, Ricky, were convicted of trying to extort money from the Cracker Barrel restaurant chain by claiming they found a dead mouse in a bowl of soup in Virginia. Both are awaiting sentencing.

Per Usual, K-Fed Keeps It Interesting

K-Fed is something else. I didn't think Britany Spears could find a mate dumber than herself, but she proved me wrong. Brit recently kicked him out of the house for his inability to redeem himself as a father and husband and human being. K-Fed needs to make amends (god knows he can't sustain of the earnings of his most recent hip-hop album).

This photo is from a photo shoot for Item Magazine (what is that? I saw it in US or In Touch first). The photo gallery from this shoot displays his knack for cleaning up real good. Look, he can wear a tie, take off the wife beater, wash his hair, put down a cigarette. He's family man material now!

But let's remember: you can take the man out of white trash but you can't take the white trash out of the man:

Britney Spears' Kids to Work at Taco Bell, Says K-Fed

Troubled husband of pop princess Britney Spears wants his children to work in a fast food joint.

Some proud parents have dreams of their children becoming doctors or sports champions. But not Kevin Federline.Troubled husband of pop princess Britney Spears wants his children to work in a fast food joint. "It's completely unfair when a child is brought into this world and now he's already looked at like a prince," says rapper wannabe.

"My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is," said Federline who supposedly receives an allowance from his wife Britney Spears. "You don't have it easy with me. Period... My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit." Quite interestingly, what does Britney Spears who worked hard since tender age of 8, think of her kids selling burgers?


Hmmm...Now, I am not applying that Taco Bell employees are, by trade, white trash, but when a white trash millionaire by marriage proudly proclaims his hopes that his bizillion kids will have a good work ethic through Taco Bell employment...well, it doesn't go along with the "new" K-Fed America is supposed to start loving and trusting. Of course, if Brit drops baby Sean on his head once more or continues to forgot how to strap the babe into a car seat, Taco Bell might be a high aspiration for this K-Fed offspring.

Monday, June 05, 2006

More pictures from Mt. V TB

Check out the sauce packets in my hand!

Look how happy she is!

A Nazi Manager and An Extra-Big Crunchwrap

this was the scene and end result of our outting to the mt. vernon, ohio taco bell. yes, i am finally ready, time and emotion-wise, to reveal the evening at the taco bell you've seen in the last few pictures.

perhaps most importantly, chrissie and abby had their first ever crunchwraps. abby hadn't had taco bell since college. i'd like to excuse her on the basis that she loved the mt. vernon taco bell so much that she didn't want to go anywhere else but sadly i think she just doesn't love the place. however, she claimed to enjoy the crunchwrap. who knows how valid this declaration is. she knows that if she told me she didn't like it, i wouldn't give her a ride to bonnaroo next week.

i felt that chrissie was more genuine in her appreciation of the crunchwrap. no, there were no "oooohs" and "ahhhs" spilling from her mouth but she was certainly impressed. the crunchwrap has a lot to live up to for friends of mine who have heard a whole lot of hype and yet not experienced it. kudos for chrissie's taste buds. if abby read this blog, i would further question hers, but i guess i'll save that for one of the many trips we take to taco bell as we hit them up on our way to tennessee.

the nazi manager was nothing like the seinfeld's soup nazi in appearance. she was a young 20 something blond with white, silvery eye shadow (a look still kickin' in ohio, i guess). we placed our orders. i took a picture of the menu because i hadn't seen the new cali quesadilla. nazi says to me: "did you just take a picture of the staff?" me: "no, the menu." nazi: "you have to delete that. we can't have people taking pictures for theft reasons." so i did. chrissie, photographer, tells me that is normal procedure in a lot of restaurants. i don't like young managers with too much eye make up telling me what to do.

anyway, while waiting, she directed employees to wipe trays, clean tables, move trash cans--clearly they were busy but she was one of those who wants customers to know her status. she is not just a taco bell employee. she is a manager. she has power. she can have her tacos and eat them too. we get our food, go outside, avoid the septic tank smelling table, and begin the feast. my crunchwrap not only had no meat, as requested, but no beans. so in i went. nazi was up in arms: what's wrong with your crunchwrap? no beans. her response: "are you sure they aren't in the middle?" me: "i dug around and didn't find them." nazi (to herself): "greedy liar. you didn't even look." me (to myself): "the customer is always right. besides, miss white eye shadow, if you've got to dig around for the beans, there is clearly a problem." nazi (outloud to staff): "BEAN crunchwrap. says this one doesn't have any." sad beanless wrap goes in the trash. so the worker bees, afraid of the wrath of either customer or nazi, fills up the new crunchwrap with more beans than i've ever seen on a crunchwrap. it was BIG. so big, in fact, that when nazi handed it to me, she said to staff: "that's a big crunchwrap. how many beans did you put in there." i took my big crunchwrap, eyes brimming with tears, heart filled with excitement, and scrambled outside before nazi had a chance to snatch it from me, proclaiming she could not serve a crunchwrap not made according to standards. i am sure the dude who made it got a whooping.

so that was our trip to taco bell. it was eventful and delicious.

Friday, June 02, 2006

The View From Our Motel In Mt. Vernon

Mt. Vernon, Ohio

here's the scene of many, many happy times during my 4 years at kenyon college and a very happy time last weekend. story to follow, as previously promised.

My Mom's Verdict

My mom who has once called Taco Bell "first class" went to Taco Bell on Wednesday for the first time in ages. She's in San Diego and had the privilege of sitting on the oft-admired (by me) rooftop Taco Bell. The view of the ocean, magnificent; the Taco Bell menu, stupendous. She had the bean burrito, and Joe had the 7 layer burrito. You know people aren't wont to hit up Taco Bell on even a semi-regular basis when that is all they order. However, at least they went so I shall not jone. She reported that that the 99 cent bean burrito did not hold its own against the $1.79 7 layer. I noted my experience in Boston: Erin and I both thought the bean burrito was immensely better than the 7 layer (to say nothing negative about the 7 layer. it's hard to beat perfection). My mom replied that the difference must lie in the establishment. I brimmed with pride: my mom, who knows ever so little about fast food restaurants, understands that not all holding the same name are created equal.

US Weekly Gets It

Since the beginning of 2005, when, for health reasons, I replaced politics with celebrity gossip as the main go-to dicussion for
mingling/socializing, I have learned to trust US Weekly to give me the god's honest truth about goings-on in Hollywood. Star, In Touch, Life and Style, etc. are full of good stories and pictures, but I am going to base my fact-sharing on them? No way.

US Weekly tells me who's doing what, why, where, and how. In last week's issue, which I just read last night, the magazine twice mentions celebrities who dig Taco Bell. I didn't read a reference of any other fast food delight. Why? Because who feels passionately about Burger King or McDonalds or Wendy's or KFC? Losers. And, as we all know, there are no losers in Hollywood--at least not any who make it to the pages of US Weekly.

So celebs who love TB:

Paris Hilton. Let's recall any earlier post which reported her former BFF, now arch nemesis, Nicole Richie claimed to be trying ever so hard to gain some much needed pounds through her true love, Taco Bell. Can you picture these two girls, when friends, running for the border, ordering choco tacos and mexican pizzas? It makes it all the more sad that they are no longer friends. Like the Iraqi insurgents and U.S. Troops, if they could just share a 7 layer burrito together one more time, they might overlook their differences and reach a truce filled with beans and cheese.

Oh, so this picture I've pasted of Paris is from her commercial for Burger King...I think. Some hamburger fast food place. Do you think she was attempting revenge on Taco Bell for not asking her to slut herself out on their ads? Surely, she would have chosen TB or BK. Oh, if that had happened, this blog could not have existed. For all my jest, I seriously dislike Paris Hilton. Go LiLo!

Diane Neal. Anyone know her? She is on Law and Order: SVU. I don't know her, but US reports she LOVES her some Taco Bell.

So that's the news on US. That and no one in Paul McCartney's circle liked Heather Mills. He shouldn't have moved on from Linda so quickly--and to a young model, at that. As US Weekly says "Can't Buy Me Love."