Monday, June 05, 2006

A Nazi Manager and An Extra-Big Crunchwrap

this was the scene and end result of our outting to the mt. vernon, ohio taco bell. yes, i am finally ready, time and emotion-wise, to reveal the evening at the taco bell you've seen in the last few pictures.

perhaps most importantly, chrissie and abby had their first ever crunchwraps. abby hadn't had taco bell since college. i'd like to excuse her on the basis that she loved the mt. vernon taco bell so much that she didn't want to go anywhere else but sadly i think she just doesn't love the place. however, she claimed to enjoy the crunchwrap. who knows how valid this declaration is. she knows that if she told me she didn't like it, i wouldn't give her a ride to bonnaroo next week.

i felt that chrissie was more genuine in her appreciation of the crunchwrap. no, there were no "oooohs" and "ahhhs" spilling from her mouth but she was certainly impressed. the crunchwrap has a lot to live up to for friends of mine who have heard a whole lot of hype and yet not experienced it. kudos for chrissie's taste buds. if abby read this blog, i would further question hers, but i guess i'll save that for one of the many trips we take to taco bell as we hit them up on our way to tennessee.

the nazi manager was nothing like the seinfeld's soup nazi in appearance. she was a young 20 something blond with white, silvery eye shadow (a look still kickin' in ohio, i guess). we placed our orders. i took a picture of the menu because i hadn't seen the new cali quesadilla. nazi says to me: "did you just take a picture of the staff?" me: "no, the menu." nazi: "you have to delete that. we can't have people taking pictures for theft reasons." so i did. chrissie, photographer, tells me that is normal procedure in a lot of restaurants. i don't like young managers with too much eye make up telling me what to do.

anyway, while waiting, she directed employees to wipe trays, clean tables, move trash cans--clearly they were busy but she was one of those who wants customers to know her status. she is not just a taco bell employee. she is a manager. she has power. she can have her tacos and eat them too. we get our food, go outside, avoid the septic tank smelling table, and begin the feast. my crunchwrap not only had no meat, as requested, but no beans. so in i went. nazi was up in arms: what's wrong with your crunchwrap? no beans. her response: "are you sure they aren't in the middle?" me: "i dug around and didn't find them." nazi (to herself): "greedy liar. you didn't even look." me (to myself): "the customer is always right. besides, miss white eye shadow, if you've got to dig around for the beans, there is clearly a problem." nazi (outloud to staff): "BEAN crunchwrap. says this one doesn't have any." sad beanless wrap goes in the trash. so the worker bees, afraid of the wrath of either customer or nazi, fills up the new crunchwrap with more beans than i've ever seen on a crunchwrap. it was BIG. so big, in fact, that when nazi handed it to me, she said to staff: "that's a big crunchwrap. how many beans did you put in there." i took my big crunchwrap, eyes brimming with tears, heart filled with excitement, and scrambled outside before nazi had a chance to snatch it from me, proclaiming she could not serve a crunchwrap not made according to standards. i am sure the dude who made it got a whooping.

so that was our trip to taco bell. it was eventful and delicious.


Blogger Ashley said...

Glad to finally hear these details. I've been restless for more than a week. Congrats on getting so many beans....

12:30:00 PM  
Blogger whipcreamy said...

you know the same thing that happened to Liz happened to me in another taco bell, but i forgot to mention it to the blog. i was pissed...i mean would someone actually eat a crunchwrap sans beef or beans? well, in my case the crunchwrap maker did not throw my wrap out, instead he squeezed a blob of beans on top of the wrap...under the tops flaps, but on top of everything else. i mean when it comes down to it, taco bell is a bunch of food squeeze guns....i would eat a squeeze of everything taco bell if i could. they could call it taco balls. they should squeeze everything that can come out of the gun into a shell and then deep fry it. yum!

1:10:00 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

1) y'all look like the man on the moon with the flag and whatnot.

2) beware of communications with those who handle your food. just a reminder. i've been a beverage/food handler and i've seem some things.

2:14:00 PM  
Blogger wilco1014 said...

Quite a story. I'm not sure that I need to ever visit the Mt. Vernon TB. Only to avoid the Nazi whom I gather would still be working there if I did visit. Yet, I'm thinking an extrie big crunchwrap sounds awfully tempting.

Glad Chrissie finally experienced crunchwrap. And yes, whipcreamy, anything called taco balls that is deep fried with an optional gun full of sour cream (and sauce) for garnish is muy bien in my book.

9:46:00 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

hmmmm....guns and sauce and sour cream and fried goodness. it's 9:30 am and i want taco bell!

and you are right, wilco1014, the nazi will probably be working there forever since she is sooooooooooo good at her job and rules the roost et al. maybe we need to make a taco bell/matlock around the world road trip to combine the best of both blogs.

8:42:00 AM  

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