I dream of Taco Bell

Taco Bell, A Lesson (well, maybe) in Geography

2011-06-20T14:16:00.002-05:00

Here is the article that prompted me to started writing on this blog again.

In it, a guy I don't know has a conversation, through letters, with another guy I don't know. But the conversation: why do the Taco Bells in Dallas, the writer's hometown, seem so much better than those in New York City? Is there any credence to this subjective belief?

I'll say there is. Long ago I tasted some TB bean burritos in Santa Barbara and they were markedly better than the ones I was eating in DC. I wrote about it, on this blog, in 2006. Was it that I was loving California? Loving the walk-up window at the Santa Barbara Taco Bell? Was it the Mexican influence, more prominant in California than in DC? Was it just the memories of DC Taco Bells where they floors were dirty and sauce packets were given out very, very stingily? All of these answers could be yes--or perhaps just a maybe. After all, what questions can I think to ask about this happenstance if I know the answer is "no"? None, apparently.

I am going to LA next week and might have to think about trying the Taco Bell there. Are those TBs upping the anti with all the taco trucks roaming the city? As much as I love Taco Bell, will I have a meal to waste on it amongst so many independent taco trucks that I don't have access to in DC? Or will all the taco trucks in LA only have meat-filled tacos and thus will I be driven to the safety and comfort of LA's Taco Bell? Seems like a win-win situation to me.

Just under 4 years...but who's counting?

2011-06-14T16:14:00.002-05:00

So I last published a post on this blog in August 2007. Now, in June 2011, I find myself compelled back to the blog. A lot has been happening with Taco Bell. That's part of it. My next post will include an article that just made me want to write!

That article is part of it (wait for it...).
Here are my other reasons:
1. I had TB twice over Memorial Day weekend. And man, it was so good.
2. The only TB near my apartment is finally closing. I'll return with a link to some of the issues I've had with that doomed store. I can't even go there anymore so its disappearance will not be mourned.
3. Not having a clean taco bell in the entire city of DC will continue to be a source of displeasure, at times, and sorrow, at other times, depending on my mood.
4. I just read one of the comments on the last post I wrote. There are some spam there. There are some comments from friends. And then there is this: "Dude, Taco Bells sucks big time. My mother broke her tooth and instead of an appology she was contacted by the legal department. The corporate execs at Taco Bell are just jerks!?" Dude, what could your mom have ordered from TB to break a tooth? Let's think about that. Sure maybe that's why she contacted TB. But maybe that's why the legal department thought her claim was false. Food poisoning, sure...who can't imagine that after eating at Taco Bell (my love is based in reality). But breaking a tooth?
5. I kinda want to have a job as a blogger, just part-time. But you know, who doesn't? All the same, having a blog is definitely better than not having a blog when it comes to applying for blog editing positions.

I am definitely not up and up with the blogosphere or linking and labeling, etc. And who knows if I will keep this going after this post (and the promised article to arrive tomorrow). I am going to practice writing about TB before telling folks that I am returning to it.

Crunch wraps forever!

An Explanation

2007-08-20T11:53:00.000-05:00

I have been MIA from this blog for a VERY lengthy bit of time.

My apologies. I hope you have all been thinking good thoughts about beans and cheese without my daily comments.

I am leaving my job this week and leaving DC next week so will continue my MIA status until September. I will beginning my reporting after settling into my new space.

Taquitos and gorditas,
Liz

A Taco Bell Rap

2007-07-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

here is a rap video about taco bell.

i don't have my earphones at work so can't listen to it. i know this violates the blogger code of ethics - posting something that said blogger has not viewed or read but i have fallen out of regular post mode and need to post something - possibly something amusing or thought-provoking (yes, more likely the former) before my loyal readers stop reading.

Paris and apologies

2007-07-20T08:59:00.000-05:00

Again, too busy to write about my beloved this week.

But here's a little news of the week:

Paris went to Taco Bell. She bought a supreme taco and a soft drink. Yes, one measly taco. tsk tsk tsk.

Calories

2007-07-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

Everyone and her mother is googling "taco bell taquito calories".

and my blog pops up first.

which, indicentally, does not note the number of calories of in a taquita. and it would be a difficult number to state without a few astericks. there are three dips to choose (guac, sour cream, salsa). and you can get it with steak. and probably even beans. i did some research on tacobell.com and found this nutritional guide. it's strange because it lists steak taquito with salsa, guac, and sour cream but nothing on the chicken taquito. unless i am missing something. and yet it is the chicken taquito that tb is advertising like crazy. i don't know if i will go as far as to say it is suspicious but it is certainly odd.

with this post, i hope to give all those people googling the www some answers.

Work is sucking the life out of me...

2007-07-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

which is why i haven't blogged all week. soon, though, my loyal friends...very soon.

New Item: Taquitos

2007-07-05T10:54:00.000-05:00

Taco Bell has unveiled a new menu item: The grilled chicken taquito! (also available with steak)

Ashley called me right after she tasted one of these to gush about how good it was. Ash likes taco bell. a lot. but she has never been one to "gush" about taco bell. not even the crunchwrap. well she gushed about the taquitos. i guess that means i'll try it soon with beans. it comes with one of three "sauces": sour cream, gaucamole, or salsa. a new concept. i quite like.

Another Devoted Fan...

2007-07-05T09:35:00.000-05:00

here's a fun, creative video about one man's love for Taco Bell. Maybe not love...just interest. Who knows, maybe he hates taco bell so much he had to make a video about it. Maybe he loved Taco Bell when he made the video but hates them now because of their Paris Hilton bullshit. Regardless, it's funny so watch it.

This Week's Google Searches

2007-06-29T10:35:00.001-05:00

that have led people to my blog:

1. "why taco bell is bad"
2. "taco bell brings peace to the world" (counter-attack)
3."is taco bell bad"
4. "how many calories in a pack of mild sauce from taco bell" (lame)
5. "bowling green taco bell" (again and again, seriously. i knew bowling green had a newly remodeled taco bell but didnt realize everyone and her mother knew it too)
6. "taco bell will you marry me?"
7. "'jennifer livingston' married" (you know she googled this one)
8. '"paris hilton' and 'taco bell'"
9. "taco bell enchirito song" (this search does not, unfortunately, result in an enchirito song)
10. "fianced couple is getting married soon" (this never happens! note: it was a uk google search. just saying...)

A good point...

2007-06-27T09:48:00.001-05:00

I just received this email from my friend Jen:

Well, I guess that you can find solace in the fact that the president doesn’t make the tasty food, nor does he come up with the delightful recipes. He is merely a figurehead who has lost his way. It’s sad.

It provides some lighthearted humor and some reality in a time of fear and anger.

I am not the only one disapproving of Taco Bell right now

2007-06-27T09:41:00.000-05:00

just for the record, i've received numerous emails from people who aren't commenters about this paris hilton/taco bell business.

apparently taco bell thinks it's appropriate to grant someone convicted of a crime positive publicity and free food.

i do not know how to broach this subject in a serious and thoughtful manner but will ponder it. i think this situations exemplifies some major problems in our society. sure i've known that taco bell, as a major company, would not raise itself above all other corporations but i, too, am capable of ignoring complicated issues (i.e. morals vs. good, cheap food), and i guess i need to work on that.

Greg Creed, President of Taco Bell, is a Brownnoser

2007-06-27T08:27:00.000-05:00

read this letter he wrote Paris and tell me it doesn't make you throw up in your mouth a little.

It's Official: Taco Bell and I are in a Fight

2007-06-26T15:39:00.000-05:00

not only did i never receive the taco bell bucks promised to me by will of taco bell but:

1. taco bell offers to throw after-show parties every night for fergie and the black-eyed peas

AND

2. it delivers - yes DELIVERS - bags of food to Paris Hilton's home - well, her parents' home to welcome her home from prison - PRISON. She can say she was just in prison because of a suspended license but her license was suspended because she was given a DUI - for driving to in-and-out burger (not to taco bell).

read it here and be pissed because you don't have a lot of money and aren't getting free food. no, save the free food for the woman who doesn't work, has millions of dollars, and will never do anything decent with that money or her fame (despite her recent proclamations from prison that she is going to be a new person. she is stupid enough to believe that).

if you don't think you have time to read the link, here the most shocking and pertinent part of the article:

"Later in the day, two Taco Bell reps arrived at the mansion and announced they had a delivery of four bags of food from Paris to the media. They then handed out taquitos and chips to everyone, including police officers." (people.com)

A Satire on the Fourth Meal

2007-06-26T12:30:00.000-05:00

not hard to come by really but this blogger did an amusing job with it, inventing the need for a fifthmeal and sixthmeal. making fun of americans' demand for excess is certainly an easy target.

if you can't change it, laugh at it, i guess.

(i don't really prescribe to this school of thought. i will not laugh at SUVs and the single, city residing people who must drive them). however, if i keep the excess problem zoomed in on taco bell's marketing scheme, i will rest more easily.

Sure Paris Wants to Save the World Now But First...

2007-06-26T08:55:00.000-05:00

She wants to eat at Taco Bell, according to TMZ.

It's news like this that rejuvinates my devotion to my blog. I'll feel uninspirated or lazy and wonder, "how much longer can I continue to write about Taco Bell? A year and a half is a long time-quite impressive really. Wow, I am really showing the world I can commit. Perhaps it's best if I just go out on top before I lose interest and/or steam."

These thoughts keep me up at night.

Thankfully tonight will not be one of those nights...unless I let thoughts like "Why do I have something in common with Paris Hilton?" overtake my worry-free self. I will try not to go down that road - it likely won't lead to tender feelings about myself and the life I lead.

I'd Want to Go to Taco Bell High!

2007-06-25T14:05:00.001-05:00

Another institution may soon cave into the money offered by large corporations: schools.

I like Canada. Now that she might have a school named after Taco Bell, I like her even more.

Even the Washington Post Had Issues...

2007-06-25T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last week I wrote about a Bush's poor foot attire choice.

Apparently, Robin Givhan, noted fashion columnist, also had a problem with the socks/crocs combo as you can read here.

Another Good One...

2007-06-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

apparently someone found my blog by doing a google search for "the story of the image of jesus on a tortilla in taco bell".

i did a similar search and didn't come up with anything about where and when this happened.

I'd Be Envious of Me...

2007-06-22T11:27:00.000-05:00

if i didn't go to the Wilco show last night.
But I did.
Phew.

There were three encores. The second encore was clearly improvised - they didn't intend to play so much and indeed played I'm Always in Love and Outta Site - both quite unusual.

and their new album is great. especially live.

so see them when they come to your part of the country.

here's the set list:

A Shot in the Arm
Side with the Seeds
You Are My Face
IATTBYH
Kamera
Handshake Drugs
Via Chicago
Shake It Off
War on War
Sky Blue Sky
Impossible Germany
Jesus, etc.
Hate It Here
Walken
I'm The Man Who Loves You
Hummingbird
---------------------
Encore 1

California Stars
Poor Places
Spiders (Kidsmoke)
---------------------
Encore 2

Heavy Metal Drummer
The Late Greats
I'm Always In Love
Outtamind (Outtasite)
I'm A Wheel
---------------------
Encore 3
What Light

Google Searches

2007-06-21T08:40:00.000-05:00

Here are google searches that recently led people to my blog:

1. "weight gain products for anoxeria"
2. "pictures of a taco bell enchirito"
3. "beanie babies" (chinese google)
4. "taco bell Will you marry me? sauce"
5. grey's anatomy quote "you can't call me a whore" (my post was #3 on this search)
6. "dustin diamond house vandalized"
7. 4 searches from different addresses about "bowling green taco bell"

I think this list should give you enough pause for though this morning.

Want More?

2007-06-20T10:01:00.000-05:00

Here is a great clip of an interview with Jeff Tweedy at Bonnaroo. Enjoy!

Bonnaroo

2007-06-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

Last year I went on a mini-hiatis from the blog to go to Bonnaroo as some of you might recall. We made the long trek to Manchester with the help of baby Chalups and Taco Bell.

Bonnaroo was this past weekend. Unfortunately, I have not blogged because I have nothing to say, not because I was in Manchester, TN, watching this guy:

However, if you'd like to see a clip of Wilco's performance at Bonnaroo, check it out here.

Some of you might recall a video a posted awhile back of a band's Taco Bell video. Well the guy who notified me of this piece of work wrote me today to give me the d-lo on his trip to Bonnaroo. Apparently Wilco "rocked the house" which is no surprise. Of course he hit up Taco Bell en route and had a delicious cheesy rice and bean burrito. I guess I would have had the same experience to report had I gone to Bonnaroo so I shouldn't complain. It's like I was there. And I'll pretend like I really believe I'll be able to go next year.

And this Thursday I will be in Columbia, MD to see Wilco so I guess I have that going for me even though I am not tan from 4 days in the Tennessee sun and have no music festivals on the horizon.

This post is a little disjointed. Listen to Wilco is the point. Don't listen to the chatter that the new album is "disappointing". It's really very good and apparently awesome live.

The 7 - Layer Crunchwrap: At Last

2007-06-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

Well, folks, I ate a 7 layer crunchwrap last night.

I ate it 30 minutes after it was made so it was very, very limp. Does this mean it's not "good to go"? Perhaps. I do think all the guacamole and sour cream was a fact in the...i'll say it...sogginess of the item.

now that said, it was still tasty but...well, is it suffice to give it an overall "tasty but..."

but:
the guacamole is not very good (as everyone and his or her mother has said)
the red tortilla strips are probably too soggy to distinguish themselves from the beans or sauce.
the beans - just not enough
cheese -not enough

however, it was tasty but...i won't order it again. i'll happily go back to my regular supreme crunchwrap with beans. i say happily because i didn't really want to like the 7 layer. i wanted to like it solely to give Taco Bell some props but i do not need another dilemma in my life. loving the 7 layer crunchwrap would make me not just consider whether or not to get a crunchwrap on a particular visit but which crunchwrap. good lord, the thought itself is disturbing.

i also had a bean burrito and half of a cheese bean and rice burrito. both very good.

overall: B

(they skimped on the sauce)

They Let Him Dress Himself?

2007-06-14T08:50:00.000-05:00

Sure he has the usual "i am not sure what is going on" smirk on his face but it appears from the pairing of socks with crocs that someone thinks he is a big boy now and can wear whatever he wants. well, white house officials, take note: this is not a good look for your boy. i know, i know, you have other more pressing matters: more wars to create, more people to torture, more oil to drill, more people to execute, more unborn fetuses to save, more taxes to cut, more borders to patrol - but please, take a step back, look at the big picture, breathe in, breathe out, and think: do you really want the "leader" of the "free world" leaving the House in this foot attire?

I Wish I Had More to Say

2007-06-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

but i am having Taco Bell tonight, if all goes accordingly, so will have more to say tomorrow.

I think I'll try the 7-layer crunchwrap and see what all the pro and con fuss is about.

Happy Friday!

2007-06-08T15:43:00.000-05:00

Anyone who doesn't love this is either 1. lying in attempt to place him or herself above celebrity news, 2. rich and bratty, or 3. my mom, who doesn't know paris hilton exists.

ANOTHER CONTEST?!?!?!?!?!

2007-06-07T08:14:00.000-05:00

Man, overload.

Here is the latest Taco Bell contest.

I do appreciate Taco Bell's support of the MLB, though. If they were as big on the NBA, NFL, or NHL (yeah right), I don't know that I would even post these contests. Still, it is getting to be a little much. This latest contest might distract folks from writing out the 7 reasons when their significant other should marry them.

I think the key to good marketing is having a target audience and ONE goal at a time. Of course, my experience in marketing is nil, and I don't run a large corporation or have any money so...I guess I'll just enter this contest too and see if I get the chance to swing for the fences.

Inside the 7-layer crunchwrap....

2007-06-06T14:22:00.000-05:00

crunchwrap held and eaten and photo held by Sabrina.

Yum...
Not that I would know. WIll from Taco Bell still hasn't sent me the promised Taco Bell. Looks like I have to hold out for winning the cheese quiz.

Sign...Another Contest

2007-06-06T11:28:00.000-05:00

Read Taco Bell's latest press release here. Then we will discuss it.

I support Taco Bell supporting Cheese. I love cheese, almost more than I love Taco Bell. well, maybe more but I don't have a blog about cheese so i guess it ultimately loses. So Taco Bell has a contest that tests your cheese knowledge.

Is this Taco Bell cheese, aka shredded or sauce only or might we get into triple cream and aged cheeses?

Take the quiz, find out, and maybe win $250 in Taco Bell bucks!!

I took it and did poorly, in my estimation. So good luck - study up and while I don't want to give anything away, I will suggest studying cheese outside of the Taco Bell menu. (there is mention of brie!!! oh, i love brie!).

Photography Sell...

2007-06-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

Ashley sent me this link. It compares the professional photo of a fast food menu item with the actual order served.

It's pretty interesting and sorta gross and makes one wonder: how do fast food chains do so well?

It's June 5th but No Free Taco.

2007-06-05T08:28:00.000-05:00

Last week I reported that Taco Bell announced a free taco day on June 5 - a percentage of other profits that day would go to the American Red Cross.

For those of you who don't read the comments, I received this information:

American Red Cross said...
Sorry folks! I work in fundraising at the American Red Cross, and this one's not legit.

Have a good day anyway.

What about Me?

2007-06-04T08:40:00.000-05:00

According to TMZ, Taco Bell contacted Fergie about the (weird) shout-out she gave TB last week, offering to let her stop by for an after concert party at one of its restaurants for free food.

I have been singing the praises of Taco Bell in a much more articulate and creative manner from my lowly computer for over a year and have I been offered an after blogging party? No. I may not be famous and may never make my way onto the cover of US Weekly or the pages of TMZ, but I deserve some props if Taco Bell is willing to give props to those who sing its praises in a public manner.

Well It Was Bound to Happen...

2007-05-31T09:55:00.001-05:00

As faithful readers know, one of my contentions with Taco Bell is its stinginess with sauce packets in urban settings. rundown for new readers: urban = poor. poor = steal more sauce packets than necessary for an order and sell it on the streets.

It's shameful, really. But apparently I am not the only one who has been infuriated by sauce stinginess.

A manager at Wendy's was shot by someone who had placed a drive-thru order and wasn't given adequate sauce. Or he was but then he decided he wanted more. Read it here.

Now I am not promoting gun violence - not even for generous offerings of fast food sauce - but I do find this incident very interesting.

Promises

2007-05-31T08:28:00.000-05:00

Remember Will - the Taco Bell guy who was going to send me Taco Bell bucks? Well, he hasn't. Remember also he said to check back on May 23 about a new menu item? Well, I didn't check back with him but I did check out the website.

Lo and behold: The Extreme Cheese and Beef Quesadilla

Here is a great review I found.

The rundown: three cheese blend (still don't know what three cheeses these are) AND nacho cheese sauce. and beef of course. So maybe when I get my Taco Bell bucks, I will not only be able to finally try the 7-layer crunchwrap (not that I am broke but principal - I said I would wait until receiving the (much) aforementioned TB bucks so wait I will), but I will also try this new menu item, subbing the beef for beans. I am curious about the mixing of two very different cheese blends - that is one shredded, one sauce. How will they mesh? Again, Taco Bell manages to invent a new menu item using the same ingredients as in everything else. Brilliant.

Even I Think This is Weird...

2007-05-30T10:46:00.000-05:00

Clearly I hold a high respect for those who love Taco Bell - for those who, one might say, even obsess with Taco Bell.

However, Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has taken this love a little too far (surprised?) as you can read and watch here.

Remember 1996...

2007-05-29T14:13:00.000-05:00

when Dave took a part-time "job" at Taco Bell?

I remember finding it hilarious.

watched it again, thanks to this YouTube clip, and yep, it's funny again.

Free Taco June 5!

2007-05-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

supposedly:

Taco Bell will be giving out one free crunchy taco to each customer on June 5, 2007 from 12 PM to 8PM as part of its effort to collect donations for the American Red Cross. However, donations are not required to receive the free taco.

Competition

2007-05-25T13:27:00.000-05:00

Dude is trying to give me a run for my money...er...taco bell bucks.

Still I respect the time and effort he gave to this pensive review.

Check out food quality: 9.2

way to go! now they just need to clean up the place a bit. good food is the first step to gourmet cooking, though. cleanliness: ah, whatever.

Harsher

2007-05-25T08:23:00.000-05:00

The Palm Beach Post has a column by "The Lunch Guys."

They do not recommend the 7 - layer crunchwrap for lunch.

The unfortunate thing is that this column makes the same complaints I have heard about it: why red sauce, why all the tortilla strips, why not more beans, stingy layers, etc. Now, in fairness to the crunchwrap, I have heard good things too. And I haven't received my Taco Bell bucks so I cannot give my own opinion yet. I am waiting...

But I must say this column is convincing. The Lunch Guys clearly take their job seriously.

I want their job.

Harsh

2007-05-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

I don't want to defend Brit but...this is unfair.

A Softball Team?

2007-05-23T07:48:00.000-05:00

Apparently there is a softball (baseball? tee-ball? other-ball?) team called Taco Bell. At least according to this article out of the Upper Peninsula.

Confusing, no?

What Will Taco Bell Introduce Tomorrow?

2007-05-22T12:35:00.000-05:00

On a comment a few weeks ago, Will of Taco Bell (apparently the manager of PR for TB HQ) wrote that I should check in with him on May 23 about any new menu items at Taco Bell.

It's May 22. what are they?

possibilities:

1. the taco bell breakfast menu to all markets.
2. 7 - layer grilled stuft burrito
3. 7- layer gordita
4. 7 layers of cinnamon twists (basically, i don't see this 7-layer thing dying until after 7-7-07 and the big proposal contest)
5. 7- layer mexican pizza

well - you get the point...

A Word of Warning

2007-05-21T11:35:00.000-05:00

I might be busy this week.

My absense will have nothing to do with this article I read today.

I haven't received the taco bell bucks yet. i am going to start a watch. after all, i've promised myself and the world not tasting of the 7 layer crunchwrap until i can pay for it with well-earned bucks. maybe will has to put in a check request for them.

FYI - This is post #304. I missed the 300th post milestone so no big celebration will take place.

Happy Monday!

It's My Friday

2007-05-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

My weekend begins this evening.

So Happy Friday!!!

Here's a happy friday photo:

How tasty does this look?

Dear Will of Taco Bell, again II

2007-05-17T11:56:00.000-05:00

Hi Will,

I haven't received the Taco Bell bucks yet. Just a reminder! I am going to try the 7-layer crunchwrap until I can "buy" it with my bucks. I am starving. Soon I will begin to fast, making a stand for that which is nearest and dearest to me: the crunchwrap. Until then i have to eat delicious pizza and overpriced thai. Those bucks would help me throw a pity party.

Thanks!
Liz

Slate Did It So I Don't Have To...

2007-05-16T08:34:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I felt the obligation to, in some way, note the passing of Jerry Falwell. After all, with this blog I not only explore food, feelings, and experiences associated with Taco Bell, but I do, on occasion, mention a political person or circumstance that demands attention.

Jerry Falwell's death demands attention. I wanted to collect a number of his outrageously bigoted quotes from his lifetime to relieve any guilt some of you may feel for a little bit of glee that might have entered your hearts when you heard the news of his death. I felt the glee and then the guilt. And then refreshed my memory: this man led a church of hate and intolerance. Yes, his "followers" are also to blame for their ignorance, but Falwell is to blame for taking advantage of their ignorance. He was a very smart man who knew he could brainwash very dumb people.

So in looking for quotes to post, I realized that the almighty online magazine Slate may have done it for me.

Sure enough it had. Read it here.

To whet your appetite:
"I listen to feminists and all these radical gals. ... These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men; that's their problem."

Gross

2007-05-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

The Rice Bowl. KFC rice? with fried chicken? and gravy? i just learned of this item on the website - I assume because KFC knows better than to advertise it. While i make fun of the other heart attack bowls, I will admit that if i ate chicken, i might be intrigued enough to try one: the ingredients are decent. But rice? gross. don't advertise it. no one wants it. my guess: they only serve it at the Taco Bell/KFC establishments so they can just use some of the TB rice on the one order placed a day for the KFC rice bowl.

I Wasn't Serious...

2007-05-15T13:49:00.000-05:00

This is KFC's newest heart attack in a bowl menu item.
Here is its description on KFC's website:

Our new bowl is a blend of mouth-watering KFC flavors and textures all layered together. We start with our signature mashed potatoes layered with sweet kernel corn and loaded with bite-size pieces of crispy chicken. Then we top with our homestyle white pepper gravy and sprinkle with our shredded three cheese blend. For the final touch, we tuck a buttermilk biscuit in the side.

Yes, that is right - this bowl needs an "final touch". Last summer, when YUM! first introduced this heart attack bowl thing, I wrote a post about the absurdity of all these ingredients wrapped in a bowl...because why not? People don't eat at fast food restaurants for their health. Note my Orwellian talent of foresight in the last sentence. Apparently YUM! noticed it.

One More Day...

2007-05-14T13:08:00.000-05:00

Until Wilco's new album, Sky Blue Sky, comes out.

Reviews have been mixed because people who don't play music feel better about themselves when they rip apart other people's music (i am referring to Pitchfork, of course - the website I hate but always read). I've heard a lot of the songs on the album live so take it from me: it will be good.

If you have quicktime (I don't), stream the album from their website, http://wilcoworld.net/news/index.php.

Enjoy.

Sabrina and Tom: Review Taco Bell

2007-05-14T10:09:00.000-05:00

As you saw on Friday, Sabrina reported to me that she had a less than stellar experience at Taco Bell on her way to DC.

Well, we spoke of this experience in more depth over the weekend. After she had a VERY positive review of a Taco Bell outside of charming and wonderful Baltimore on the way back to NYC yesterday, I've asked her and her boyfriend, Tom, to send me a detailed report.
here it is, in their words:
(p.s. they called the locations from the road for directions. they identified themselves as taco bell inspectors and had pleasant exchanges. i do not think the tb inspector bit was taken seriously).

Friday, May 11, 2007
Chestnut Hill Road, Newark, Delaware

This weekend found the tribe of SATO Nation migrating south form the isle of manhattan to the capital for birthday/mother’s day. Accompanying us was a guest tribe member. Both on the journey to and from pit stops at Taco Bells were made. Not knowing the location of said establishments, we Googled them and located the following in the vicinity at that time.
This is a stand alone establishment located about 10 minutes from the I95 exit.

Overall all rating: B-/C+

Convenience to highway: B
Friendliness of Staff: A-
Cleanliness: A-
Food Quality: C

Order:
2 bean burritos
1 1/2lb Cheesy Bean & Rice burrito
1 7 layer Crunchwrap
1 gordita
2 med sodas

Report: Bean burritos were light on content; 1/2lb Bean and rice was light and contained some overcooked/hard rice; 7 layer was not well put together.

May 13, 2007
E. Joppa Road, Parksville, MD
note: on this trip, tom and sabrina had 2 other taco bell lovers in the car.

This is a stand alone establishment located about 4 minutes from the I95 exit.

Overall all rating: A

Convenience to highway: A-
Friendliness of Staff: A
Cleanliness: A
Food Quality: A

Order:
2 7 layer crunchwraps (plus one more, ordered after tasting)
4 bean burritos
1 1/2lb cheesy bean and rice burrito
1 grilled steak taquito
BAJA Chalupa Sub Beans for Meat
3 medium sodas

Report: Bean burritos were fat and healthy with content [except for one aberration;; 1/2lb Bean and rice was made just right; 7 layer crunchwrap was crisp and fresh, and when sliced open one could see a well put together layering [each layer distinct and identifiable]; Grilled steak taquito was a nice small addition….fresh and tasty; not too big and not too small….
also of note: One of the TB inspectors on this trip was so satisfied with the 7 layers crunch wrap that she ordered a second one. It was her first...then second...7 layer crunchwrap.

First Impression: Taco Bueno

2007-05-14T09:54:00.000-05:00

I have heard the praises for this Taco Bueno for some time. I have never had it - i dont think it has locations east of the Kansas border. Unfortunately, when people sing these praises, they mention that it's better than taco bell. of course, this prompts me to get a little defensive and thus makes me hesistant to say anything positive about the company.

Farmers Branch, TX passed an ordinance on Saturday which makes it illegal for landlords to rent to illegal immigrants. During discussion of this proposal, Taco Bueno apparently moved its headquarters to Farmers Branch, prompting some to point to this move as an endorsment of the ordinance. This weekend Taco Bueno clarified its position this weekend, calling the ordinance "ill-advised."

This article also mentions that "Councilman Tim O'Hare...countered by pointing out that Taco Bell moved its headquarters to Farmers Branch after the council approved the ordinance."

What headquarters? I know not the main headquarters in Irvine? The HQ of Texas?
And does Taco Bell approve of this ordinance? Good god, I hope not.

This Just In...

2007-05-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

One of my best friends, Sabrina, loves Taco Bell. I have mentioned her before. However, she does not love blogs. In fact, she doesn't read them. But I will continue to mention her as I am forgiving and understanding. I didn't read blogs until I had one of my own.

In any case, she is on her way from nyc to dc for the weekend. I just got this text message: Taco Bell in [Delaware] gets an overall C. The staff was awesome.

I promptly responded: the math indicates the food was NOT good.

Her response: Skimpy bb. Stale rice used in the cheesy burrito.

In Taco Bell's defense (I guess), Sabrina is a very harsh critic. We both critique Taco Bell out of love. I believe in supportive love. She believes in tough love.

but stale rice? come on, Taco Bell...

Too Good Not to Post

2007-05-11T10:38:00.000-05:00

Warning: Nothing in this link is related to Taco Bell. However, it is hilarious, and if you are looking for an amusing break (which apparently you are since you are reading this blog), then you should click on the link and laugh and then worry some more about the people who make up community/society/world.

In other news, I almost had the 7 layer crunchwrap last night but...didn't make it to Taco Bell. I went to a concert at the 930 club. It was the early show starring Ben Gibbard with star openers Jonathan Rice and Dave Bazan so it was over by 9:30. Here's the sad thing: there is a Taco Bell on 14th and U, approximately 6 blocks from the venue, and when we contemplated going to Taco Bell, we factored the drive to Maryland into the decision not to go because we didn't even think about going to the one on 14th and U because the place is gross. dirty. filled with trash. I am not saying it's rat-dirty but it's too dirty for me. which, for those who don't know me, is pretty dern dirty.

In the Meantime...

2007-05-10T09:20:00.000-05:00

Since I won't be able to give you anything tantalizing to read until this afternoon, please keep yourself busy with this article on Obama in last week's New Yorker.

It is favorable. It is endearing. It reaffirms my belief that he is as delicious as an enchirito.

My Apologies...

2007-05-10T09:15:00.000-05:00

I have been MIA for a few days. This will not last much longer. Like maybe a few more hours.

I have a report from a relatively trustworthy source that he was "not too jazzed" about the 7 layer crunchwrap and much prefers the regular one with beans. it must be the lack of tomatoes and lettuce. or the addition of red sauce. he was also not too jazzed about the enchirito and i think perhaps the tangy red sauce in the 7 - layer is the same as that on the enchirito. and i loved that so this report in no way reflects my opinion on the item. I will try it as soon as my taco bell bucks come in the mail.

and apparently they are on their way! how cool is that?

Some Words on "Real" Tex-Mex and "Real" Mexican

2007-05-03T11:12:00.000-05:00

Someone is talking some shit about Taco Bell, even mentioning its founder, Glen Bell.

Seems harsh to me. However, the article does provide some history and definitions of Mexican dishes. Even though there is an underlining bitter tone toward what America has done to Mexican food, the article is a good read.

I do, however, what to give the writer the ol' Schlinder's List talk. In high school, a friend of mine would defend her appreciation of movies like Halloween: 20 Years Later or The Faculty (yes, both starring a young Josh Harnett) by saying: Not every movie has to be Schlinder's List. Some 10 years later, I find this defense is often handy. Not everything people like/appreciate/enjoy/revel in has to be top-notch quality. It can just be appreciated for what it is (or because Josh Harnett is so cute). Likewise, Taco Bell may not be a four star restaurant, using only the best ingredients so let's not judge it as such. It's tasty and cheap and can be ordered from a car. It doesn't claim to be anything more. Isn't that enough?

If You're Reading This...

2007-05-02T13:27:00.000-05:00

You probably already know what Anne announced on her blog today. (yes, i am bragging a little).

Anne knows a lot of blogs. And a lot of talented, funny people. I am certainly honored.

I have to give my muse, Taco Bell, some props. Sure they didn't pay for my education or give me invaluable writing instructions or send me Taco Bell Bucks (yet) but somehow I've managed to let this fast food chain into my mind and heart. It deserves recognition for that feat.

And for the skeptics: I don't think Anne would pick my blog simply because we are good friends - but maybe because I am taking her to the Edgar Allen Poe House in Baltimore this weekend. Hmmmm. In any case, thank you, Anne. Your attention on top of Taco Bell HQ's Will's has me feeling a little on top of the moon this week. When I get those Taco Bell Bucks, I'll send some your way since visiting Taco Bell 3 times in 5 years is shameful. Thank god I was present for one of those. Burlington 2004!

For Those of You Who Don't Read Comments...

2007-05-01T13:41:00.000-05:00

I received this comment from Will at Taco Bell HQ yesterday. It's really quite fetching: answers to questions, connections to the HQ, TB Bucks coming my way. Finally all this hard work is paying off. Phew.

Once I receive these TBB Will has promised, I will consider in what blogworthy fashion I should use them: a contest or tournement might arise. If you have ideas, please email or comment. I will consider them.

In any case, here is the comment. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

Liz,

Your passion for all things Bell is a delight. Glad to hear you are dropping knowledge on those not versed in the way of the 4th meal.

You see, it is I who has the power of the almighty Taco Bell Buck, yes that super cool form of currency that garners you free Taco Bell in 5 dollar increments...and I would be more than glad to send some your way for you as well as to help spread the good word.

Now for some rapid fire response to the bonus round of questions:

Three cheese blend is found in your favorite 7 layer burrito and our quesadillas, but also in Cheesy Gordita Crunch and our Grilled Stuft Burritos.

As for the green sauce...since we are 80% franchise, some stores don't carry it. I know its a bummer, one of my favs is a bean burrito with green sauce.

no idea about the fire and ice deal, what are they sayin? the new stores are pretty cool, new color scheme, but come on don't you miss the old fire pits that were outside the old mission styles?

choco taco, depends on where you are, they are still on the menu in parts of Texas last time I heard.

and as far as the new LTO, hit me back on May 23 and I'll give you and your readers the scoop.

thanks again for your passion for our brand. and get me an address to send some TBBs.

Zesty,

W

Dear Will of Taco Bell, again

2007-05-01T08:39:00.000-05:00

I can't access your email account. I've enabled mine so send an email and I'll get you my address.

Thank you for responding to my questions. what a pleasant surprise and turn of events. Support from the "top" is really a confidence builder.

I will respond to your response later in the day. As you might imagine, my mind is a little overwhelmed with everything I want to write.

Tangy,

Liz

Healthy is Boring

2007-04-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

I usually stand by my belief that if you want to eat something healthy, stay away from fast food restaurants - even taco bell. what is the point of removing all the good stuff so that their food is just not as bad for you? might as well have a salad than eat something that would be delicious if only it had sour cream, and cheese.

However, if pressed, I suppose I cannot deny that every little bit counts - that is, fewer calories here and there can certainly add up. Therefore, when I read this article about how to eat healthier at taco bell, I was not entirely peeved.

I will break it down, point by point:

1. Make your order “Fresco Style”
This means no cheese. it means cilantro and tomatoes and onions. I support that. try fresco style plus cheese but please don't try x-ing out the cheese.

2. Avoid the Grilled Stuft
I am okay with this idea. i like the grilled stuft but i don't love it. the suggestion to substitute the fiesta burrito is a fine one. the fiesta burrito is one of taco bell's semi-secret gems.

3. Don't be fooled by the salads.
Exactly. People tend to think salad=healthy. A misconception which is a combination of ignorance and marketing.

4. Head to the Border bowls
skip the steak bowls, chicken instead. well, i don't eat either so i am going to advocate that: BEANS, BEANS, BEANS.

5. Skip the Extras
if this means the potatoes and non-choco taco dessert, i concur. if it means a third bean burrito or nachos, i think easier said than done. and better said and not done.

Dear Will of Taco Bell

2007-04-30T10:34:00.000-05:00

In my post (rant) about Taco Bell's recent marketing decision to encourage folks to write into TB about why their Significant Other should marry them, Will of Taco Bell responded, explaining the idea was not intended to be sexist and so on. It was appreciated.

With that said...

Dear Will,

thanks for taking official notice of my blog. i am not going to lie - this blog has propelled more than a few people to taco bell. just this weekend, i had an adamant discussion with my friend anne and a tobogan-wearing boy about the chalupa v. the gordita. he might not have normally thought of taco bell at midnight on a saturday night (he didn't strike me as the 4th meal type) but thanks to a blog discussion, he did. and when he went home, do you think he stopped off for a 4th meal? surely...

this is a request for commission, however. that will follow (to whose attention?).

thanks for the stats: glad to hear my anger was unwarrented (quite unusual). i don't think i will be ready for a marriage proposal by july but good to know that it would be acceptable, should i be ready, for me to pop the question to some lucky fellow. I don't know if this development will outweigh the fact that war might destroy the earth before global warming gets its chance but it's comforting should I be ready for marriage before either of those disasters takes place (unlikely).
who pays for the ring if the girl proposes? have you research on that as well? in keeping with my feminist ideology, i think the woman should pay. then the man has to wear an engagement ring and doesn't get to flirt with other girls in the run-up to the wedding because people will assume he's already tied the knot. girls, on the other hand, can keep the bachelorette status alive and kickin'.

i don't eat meat, will, but i do like customizing my orders at taco bell. \ i didn't know there was a 3 cheese blend. what kind of cheeses?

what happened to the green sauce taco bell used to have at select locations?

what was the fire and ice taco Wikipedia mentioned? one of those lies wikipedia perpetuates?

what does the inside of the "new" taco bell restaurants look like?

what happened to the choco taco?

what is the next limited time only menu item to come out of your HQ?

if i learn the answer to any of these questions, my excitement will reach a dangerous level so best to cut it off at the pass.

if all these questions make you regret acknowledging your knowledge of my blog to me and you can't respond, i will hold no hard feelings.

Stuft,
Liz

Genuine?

2007-04-27T08:57:00.000-05:00

A couple of months ago I endorsed Bill Richardson for the Democratic nominee for president.
It was mainly out of anger that Hilary and Barack were talking smack and I like them both and all that stuff. you can just read the post for yourself.

but barack and hilary appear to like each other in this photo and they didn't "trade barbs" last night too terribly - you know, for a debate. Whether genuine or not (and i hope it is), i really hope last night's debate is an indication of what's to come: thoughtful and intelligent discussion that focuses on the faults and corruption of the bush administration and congressional republicans.

Not Again...

2007-04-27T08:17:00.000-05:00

Do you remember Taco Bell's ebay engagement ring fiasco last year? All the proceeds were to go the the Taco Bell fund (or something) - an organization for at risk teens/kids. Taco Bell put a big ol diamond ring on worth $14,000 on ebay, hoping people would jump at the chance to buy a ring sold by Taco Bell. It didn't make a lot of since - not just the pricetag but why would anyone associate Taco Bell with rings and marriage.

Well, apparently Taco Bell thinks it's the fast food chain that most appreciates love and marriage because they are rolling out another doozy of a marketing scheme as you can read in its press release. The title of this press release is Taco Bell® Says ``I Do'' to One Lucky Sports Fan. Now try not clicking on the link I've provided and reading about it. I promise you will be appalled and mystified and a little amused.

This ploy combines sports (baseball), the 7-layer crunchwrap, and love. naturally. I mean, sure when think of Taco Bell and the 7-Layer Crunchwrap (even though I haven't had it yet), I think love. I think i want to marry it. I think if i were to ever marry a person, i would be cheating on Taco Bell. It certainly stirs up some complicated feelings and creates a dilemma or two. But Taco Bell does not prompt me to want to marry someone or make me think about baseball. I guess that means I am not the target audience.

The contest requires contests to list “7 reasons why your significant other would be lucky to marry you.” Yes, every woman and man out there wants a proposal of marriage based on why he or she is lucky to be with someone, first and foremost - not why that person is lucky to have said proposee. The sports theme indicates that men are the targets - and yes, usually it's the guy who does the proposing since it's a man's world and all that bs. It's just too sad to me that Taco Bell rightly assumes that men would perfer to write about why they are so wonderful rather than admit that they can't get by without a woman. This post is about to turn into a bitter, angry, feminist rant. Since it's Friday and I would prefer to be happy even though I am still wet from my long walk in the rain this morning, I am going to cut that rant short.

I am angry at Taco Bell, though. And men. And Fox.

Happy Friday!

More on the 7-Layer Crunchwrap

2007-04-25T08:16:00.000-05:00

Apparently it's no longer just in Ohio.

Erin reported to me yesterday she saw it advertised in Boston.
This gave me hope: if it's in Boston, it must be in the DC metro area (maybe not the DC Taco Bells because we urbanites steal sauce and must be punished but nonetheless i feel the time is near when I will be able to try this enticing item).

Further proof: tacobell.com is now advertising the 7-Layer Crunchwrap and I have official word what each layer is:

1. beans
2. nacho cheese sauce (i recommend subsituting this for real shredded cheese, of course)
3. zesty red sauce (this must be the kind they put on the enchirito! yum!!)
4. red tortilla strips!
5. sour cream
6. guacamole
7. tomatos

i would like some onions and lettuce as well: why not make it a 9-Layer, really? but all the same it sounds WONDERFUL!

Another reason I should be a groupie...

2007-04-23T11:03:00.000-05:00

Check out this article on a new cookbook.

First, i want to own it. What do you think is Jeff Tweedy's favorite recipe? Maybe it's not in this cookbook. Maybe that is a good thing because I would make it every night.

Second, and more poignantly (to this blog at least), as you will read in this article, the indie rockers love taco bell. yeah, i figured - they are "cool" and "talented" and "often vegetarian" and "sometimes broke" so why wouldn't they appreciate a good, cheap, bean and cheese filled meal. Nonetheless, I appreciate confirmation of my assumption. And their admiration for Taco Bell emphasizes the very base of this blog: love for taco bell is universal. whereas you might not have been hard pressed to find a link between ashlee simpson and conor oberst, look no more. dumb hollywood starlets, cute yet troubled musicians, college educated non-profit employees: we are all the same. why is world peace so difficult to find?

EVEN MORE NEWS

2007-04-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

not as big as the 7-layer crunchwrap but substantial nonetheless:

US Weekly reports this week:

On [Ashley Simpson's] rumored hookup with Ryan Phillippe: “That was absolutely not true. I’m pretty sure I [went home] that night with my friend Nicole. I’m pretty sure we went to Taco Bell…Can I not even talk to a guy?”

and Nicki Hilton's favorite fast food: Taco Bell's Mexican pizza

BIG NEWS!

2007-04-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

the subject of this post is not an exaggeration.

I know those reading this post might feel inundated with the number i have posted today. Most of them are not going to affect your daily life so you might be questioning how you spend your time: do you really have time for this blog? has your life gotten so pathetic that you have resorted to looking at pictures some girls posts of Taco Bell? Maybe self-reflections have begun spiral out of control, bringing you to the brink of quitting your job, your home, your city, your family, your friends, your pets.

Well, let me stop you because there is big news that you may not have heard because I hadn't.

The 7-layer crunchwrap!

It's new.

It's vegetarian.

It's bound to be delicious. the combination of the 7 layer burrito AND the crunchwrap? i can't even deal with the possibility of what joy this taste will bring me.

I discovered that taco bell has introduced this menu item in some parts of the country because I noticed that people were googling "7 layer crunchwrap". in this google search, my May 17, 2006 post is the first one to pop up. After getting a little starstruck at my own stardom, i continued reading the other sites mentioned the 7 layer crunchwrap.

i found this:

1. The newest promotional item is the 7-Layer Crunchwrap Supreme, a vegetarian crunchwrap much like the 7-Layer Burrito. (yahoo news)

2. 7 Layer Crunchwrap Supreme-This is a new product to the Bell, so even though I was disappointed with the beef crunchwrap I decided to give it a shot. It had the same burnt one side as the beef one. The filling was quite good. 6 Happy Mexicans out of 10 (someone in canada)

3. Originally offered only with beef, a spicy chicken Crunchwrap Supreme has since been introduced. Since each Crunchwrap Supreme is cooked to order due to the nature of the product, it is possible to order one with or without certain ingredients. Recently a vegetarian version, the 7-layer crunchwrap has appeared in some locations. (wikipedia)

4. Still have not found this 7 layer crunchwrap even on the east coast (someone on myspace)

5. THEY HAVE THEM IN OHIO: 7757 Tylersville Road10am-3am Sun-Thurs . 10am-4am Fri-SatLebanon10am-1am Sun-Thurs . 10am-3am Fri-Sat5418 Kings Center Way10am-2am Sun-Thurs . 10am-3am Fri-SatLoveland10am-1am Sun-Thurs . 10am-2am Fri-Sat. WHY DID I EVER LEAVE OHIO?

The New Look

2007-04-20T10:30:00.000-05:00

As some of you may recall, Taco Bell is giving its restaurants a new look. they are shooting for a more authentic Mexican look. i know the "more" in that sentence might be controversial. however, what is more controversial is what they apparently think constitutes authentic Mexican. fake stone, bright orange, tacky bright colors in a very 80s pattern, and a fancy little silver swirl up top--because why the hell not?

Don't get me wrong: if i passed this building, i would slam on the breaks and run inside immediately. we now know what authentic mexican means to taco bell on the outside but what does it mean on the inside?

I Guess This Works...

2007-04-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

This PR attempt is a little desperate for my taste, but surely it's an indication that Taco Bell has, indeed, fallen on hard times - times that a breakfast menu might not even be able to rectify. alas...However, some people need to hear these words even if comes from glowing sign.

Distracted?

2007-04-20T08:14:00.000-05:00

by excitement for dinner or by booze?

Too Good to Be True?

2007-04-17T10:07:00.000-05:00

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly dating KFed.

Yes, the report references making love.

And yes, something this great and ridiculous is a little hard to swallow as truth. it's quite easy to swallow as the latest piece of wonder to come out of Hollywood, though. Imagine the trashiness that could result with the merging of these two celebs. I love it. No, not the same kind of love I intend when I say that I love that Reese and Jake are dating. It's a more shallow, selfish love...made to fit the couple, of course. I don't know that LiLo has proved her love for Taco Bell but surely KFed will help her out with that. Just like she will help him out raising all his babies. It will be beautiful.

Australia Reports on the Soup Nazi

2007-04-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

Isn't that strange?

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21555943-2,00.html

Word

2007-04-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday!

Now This Menu is Something I Can Support

2007-04-12T13:36:00.000-05:00

I found this picture on the www. I am guessing employees at this Taco Bell either didn't see this picture snapped or were less Nazi-like than a certain manager with whom I had a run-in at an Ohio Taco Bell last summer (i was told it was ILLEGAL and i must delete).

But water under the bridge.

Let's compare this menu to an article I read (and posted) last week from Omaha in which bacon was the main ingredient in the new breakfast menu. I said boo. I talked some smack about Omaha. I worried that bacon would not be easily replaceable with beans because of the texture difference. I did not see a menu item about which I could rave and rejoice.

Now I have.

Egg, bean, and cheese burrito! Alright. Washington, DC is ready for you, my friend.

Cinnamon tostadas? is that just another name for cinnamon twists to make us think they are okay to eat in the morning? Well, I am sold.

I am still vauge on these breakfast bell potatoes.

But if you look very closely, you will see a bacon egg cruchwrap. this reads bean egg crunchwrap to me. i love it already. seriously, taco bell, if you won't give me a job, will you at least bring your breakfast menu to the dc area asap?

Dear Taco Bell:

2007-04-10T14:26:00.000-05:00

Please give me a job.

I can work from home.

I want to work for you.

I know you check this blog so consider this my application.

Experience: eating Taco Bell, loving Taco Bell, writing about Taco Bell. And a B.A. to boot.

Sincerely,

Me

Montreal Taco Bell revisited

2007-04-09T08:58:00.000-05:00

We'll recall when Taco Bell opened a restaurant in Montreal a few months ago: the lines were long, people who excited, Canada was able to once again "connect" with Americans. It was a beautiful.

Well, what we didn't know was a "KFC" was attached to it.

Or should I say a "PFK".

So they leave Kentucky in the name and change the "chicken" but what does the F stand for? Fried in French? or just French? Chicken French Kentucky. yes, i am having some laughs over where other languages place adjectives.

The most important information about the link to this post on the Metroblogging Montreal site is the stinginess said reporter experienced with the sauce packets. I am surprised, dear Canada, at your stinginess. Good thing I never got my act together to move to your fair country.

I Don't Like the Word "Foodie"

2007-04-09T08:42:00.000-05:00

It's too trendy, too pretentious, too new age.

However, I respect the writer of this article "Taco Bell -- Top Underrated Spot" even though the subtitle is "Why True Foodies Love T Bell." I wish he didn't use "foodie" to make his point that people who enjoy good food--quality ingredients, unusual recipes, unique flavors--also enjoy Taco Bell for these very reasons (okay, maybe not the "quality ingredients" part). I don't know that I have noticed this difference between the Taco Bell of TODAY and the Taco Bell of YESTERYEAR because I loved it yesteryear as i love it today. Sure, the crunchwrap and cheesy gordita crunch and grilled stuft burritoes are ingenius additions to the Taco Bell experience but their introduction has only made my life harder. what to order is harder than it's ever been.

I Want to Be the Test Market

2007-04-06T08:31:00.000-05:00

Taco Bell is testing its "breakfast menu" out in a few markets throughout the country. This is tentatively (i believe) call the "think outside the biscuit" campaign. that's a good slogan except that I don't think it's in their best interest to remind people who want breakfast that there are biscuits to be had because, i mean, who doesn't love a biscuit?

In any case, Omaha has been picked as one of the test cities.

Omaha.

Where everyone loves Bush and Meat.

As reported in the link above, here are some of the menu items:
1. sausage and bacon grilled burrito
2. a guacamole bacon grilled burrito
3. a bacon and egg taco
4. Bell breakfast potatoes.

I usually stand my belief that beans can be substituted for just about any meat at Taco Bell. On these items, I am not sure. Bacon and ground beef or chicken are very different textures than beans. And what are "bell breakfast potatoes"? a new name for the fiesta potatoes or hash browns.

In any case, I don't trust Omaha to tell Taco Bell wherein the breakfast menu faults lie--unless the employees and musicians of Saddle Creek Records get on the bandwagon with this test campaign.

It is Not Just Taco Bell

2007-04-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

Other restaurants have rat problems too. Inside Edition, the well established and very trustworthy investigative "news" program found a little rat problem at a few DC restaurants as reported.

I guess, in mentioning this instance, I also have to admit that it is not just New York City that is so dirty but DC as well. My allegience apparently lies more with Taco Bell than my residence.

I Knew It Would Happen One Day...

2007-04-04T11:06:00.000-05:00

A story involving George Clooney AND Taco Bell. Sure, we all have known for sometime that he is delicious as an enchirito (and number 1 on my celebrity list) but that link is somewhat of a stretch. I didn't think David Spade and a homeless man would complete the link but who am I to doubt something called fate, luck, or coincidence.

Pelosi Takes Syria

2007-04-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

What better way to get back into blogging than talk some smack about President Bush?

Apparently Bush is none too pleased with Nancy Pelosi's trip to Syria.

Attempting to find common ground (i.e. prevent terrorism and war) with an agruably bad government takes all the fun away from countries who want to laugh at the U.S. for making another bad foreign policy decision. You see, the "war on terror" does not involve attempts at peaceful negotiations because that lessens the chance of war waging. Peace=boring. War=tough.

I know i have to regain your trust

2007-04-03T12:43:00.000-05:00

I have been an infrequent blogger of late--to say the least.

My apologies.

Please come back.

About two months ago, I gave you a sob story of a list of why I hadn't been putting my all into this blog. I didn't expect to have to give you excuses again. I am tempted to write another list of sob stories to explain my absence but instead I will just prove my rededication to this blog and will work to regain your loyalty through tireless posts that prove as informative and thought provoking as those of yesteryear (2006). In my defense, I have not been cheating on you with other blogs, websites, books, or mcdonalds. When I say I was working, I really was. And I still love Taco Bell more than any other Mexican fast food chain. The passion has not dwindled, only my time.

Thank you.

Please check back

2007-03-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

i have taken an unannounced and rather lengthy hiatis from this blog. it's not that i have lost my love. i've had it twice in the last week (crunchwrap, enchirito, cheesy bean and rice, and gordita crunch, nachos). everything was very good, per usual. however, i have been too busy to check people.com 4 times a day, much less write witty and informative posts.

i apologize. i will be back. do not lose hope.

Even Republicans Make Sense Sometimes...

2007-03-14T11:30:00.001-05:00

(Warning: not Taco-Bell related post).

General Pace had some ridiculous, insulting, and harsh comments to share with the world on Monday when he explained his support of keeping the "don't ask, don't tell" policy in place. Everyone wants him to go to rehab now where prominent figures go if they don't like a certain "type" of person. Okay, I haven't heard that much but assume so. Why should Isiah Washington of Grey's Anatomy have to go to rehab for being a biggot if General Pace doesn't? Because US Weekly isn't interested in General Pace's life? Because General Pace's life doesn't affect the lives of everyday Americans as Washington's does? Perhaps, perhaps.

In any case, Pace received some heat for the public announcement of his personal feelings. I am sure liberal writers and bloggers have torn him apart--and rightly so. But I am really not interested in reading about what other liberals have to say about him. He's wrong for a myriad of reasons. He's an ass. I don't need to read hyper-intellectual analysis as to why. What is really frustrating (saddening, maddening, etc) about Pace's remarks is that they reflect what A LOT of people believe: homosexuality is immoral. no need to think about it any further. He's taking advantage of a superior and respected position to degrade millions of people because he can. The White House said he shouldn't have expressed personal opinions but of course it did not express a difference of opinion--because it has the same opinion (except for dear old cheney who loves his gay daughter which might be believeable if he were capable of love--or any tenderness of feeling).

So what might seem so far as a rant actually is about to take an uplifting turn. I read a very satisfying oped this morning in The Washington Post. It condoned Pace's approval of "don't ask, don't tell." What made this column satisfying was its penmanship by former Republican senator Alan K. Simpson. As a senator, Simpson voted for the "don't ask, don't tell" policy in 1993. He now supports overturning this policy. Yes, a Republican admitting he made a wrong decision. His explanation of his current opposition to the policy makes a lot of sense militarily but he also seems to have had an internal and respectable aboutface in his opinion of homosexuality: "Since 1993, I have had the rich satisfaction of knowing and working with many openly gay and lesbian Americans, and I have come to realize that "gay" is an artificial category when it comes to measuring a man or woman's on-the-job performance or commitment to shared goals. Its says little about the person."

Bravo, Senator Simpson.

(Okay so he also says a little about the Iraq war to indicate that we share a difference in opinion. Well, babysteps...)

Springtime for Oz

2007-03-13T15:08:00.000-05:00

Nothing says "I am tired of winter" (i.e. "when can we open the windows again?") like this face, right?

It's 70 in d.c. and SUNNY and LIGHT.

enjoy it like the it's the weekend.

See!! It is New York!

2007-03-13T09:04:00.000-05:00

New York has the rat problem, not Taco Bell.

Check out this place customers never suspected had a rat problem.

Tsk Tsk Tsk.

I imagine Taco Bell doesn't want to wage a negative campaign against the New York City. The Press would take them down, Bush would call them terrorists, Guillani would be swept into office in 2008. So I will wage this war for them.

I like New York but I like Taco Bell more.

A Fun Friday Comparison

2007-03-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

so, Taco Bell has had it rough recently. there is no denying that. i wasn't even in the mood for it last night. so let's take a deep breath, forget its troubles, and look at a really hideous looking person ("person"?) and a BEAUTIFUL, charming, smart, funny person:

WOW, eh?

Some relief:

Michael Jackson: a really really bad Monday::George Clooney: a really really good Saturday

Have a good George Clooney and i will be in touch on Michael Jackson.

Boo

2007-03-09T16:03:00.000-05:00

blogger isn't letting me post pictures.
Just imagine George Clooney or picture him in your head to wish yourself a happy weekend.

An Update on Our Favorite Taco Bell Fanatic, Take 2

2007-03-07T16:41:00.000-05:00

Well, folks, a lot has changed in 2007. We love to mock KFed--for his lack of talent, ridiuclous white rapper look, remarkable knack for making ladies fall for him and then knocking them up (each is remarkable in its own right, of course, but the combination is impressive).

But according to hard-hitting CNN, he is turning himself around now that Brit has officially gone off the deep end.

My favorite quote: "Were we as a nation, as a society to hard on Kevin Federline?" I am glad this question is alongside the other one our nation is asking itself "why did we allow his fool for a president to go to war and a second term?"
Runner-up: "Oh yes, his rap career. the less said about that, the better."

I would have known this information

2007-03-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

Wikipedia is an extraordinary development in our age of the world wide web: the way it works is a little baffling and a lot unique. some of the information cannot be trusted but who knows what part of the description is false...if any.

I did find out last year that Jose Padillo, suspected terrorist, once worked for Taco Bell. I have mentioned this a few times previously on this blog. boring, old news, whateves. So imagine my surprise and delight to see that a few more names had been added to this "former employees" list on wikipedia's taco bell site:

José Padilla, alleged supporter of terrorism
Boyd Rice, noise music pioneer and Social Darwinist ("...when I was sixteen. Just long enough to cause enough trouble to get kicked out of there." Recounted in RE/Search No. 11: Pranks!.)
Krist Novoselic, Nirvana bassist.
Steve Smith, Wide Receiver for the Carolina Panthers NFL team.
Kevin Sellers, vocalist of hardcore punk band The Outsiders
John C. Dvorak, former TechTV personality and current This Week In Tech pundit, worked there while attending college.
Tyler Spencer, aka "Dick Valentine" from Electric Six.
Mike Kennerty, guitar player for the All-American Rejects
David Barbe, recording engineer/producer (Played in Sugar, and Meryland, Produced Drive By Truckers, Son Volt, many others)
Hulk Hogan, professional wrestler.
Jason Lee, former skateborder and currently starring in My Name Is Earl
Lindsay Lohan, actress.

LINDSAY LOHAN!!!!
i think this is entirely false but man, do i wish it were true. she was a child actress. no way did she decide to earn a little extra cash when she turned 16 at her local taco bell. i appreciate whatever contributor added this to the list, though. i am picturing him (because it is certainly a "him") going around to random wikipedia sites, adding lindsay lohan related facts (that are actually untruths).

The rest of people on this list are believable: certainly the musicians. hulk hogan is a possibly lie. let us not let this lindsay lohan fib lessen our trust in dear wikipedia. lie on!

Fraud, as predicted

2007-03-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

Well, as expected, the man from St. Joseph's, Missouri who last week accused Taco Bell of slipping a razor blade into his cheesy potatoes has been forced to recant his story in light of its being entirely untrue.

if i were going to make up a story about finding something unclean and/or dangerous in my food, i would pick something that is actually found in a fast food kitchen. i've not worked at one but am guessing razor blades aren't instrumental in preparing bean burritoes or mexican pizzas. and certainly not cheesy potatoes. i don;t know what is both small enough to hide in food and sharp/unclean that is found in the kitchen. fingers are such have become cliche. drugs are passe. why would people with drugs waste them on customers they've never met? anyway, these are the things i would consider before trying to make a killing by suing a fast food joint.

Stop Picking on Taco Bell

2007-03-02T12:45:00.000-05:00

in this news story, a man accuses taco bell of slipping a razor blade into his cheesy potatoes. this man's story is obviously untrue. and a razor blade? how cliche. he is taking advantage of taco bell's recent "falling of bad times" phrase. shame shame. take out your petty attempt to make some fast dough on some more worthy fast-food chain. and besides cheesy potatoes are the lamest (non-meat) item on the menu.

Reading Music

2007-02-28T12:40:00.000-05:00

I can't do it. I wish I could because it might turn this seemingly simplistic song in a beautiful love ballad.

As it is, the song is more of a poem with a few beautiful, love-filled lines.

Click on the lyrics to zoom.

Happy Belated Anniversary to My Union with Taco Bell

2007-02-27T14:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked year one of the "I Dream of Taco Bell" blog. Who's impressed that a little lady from St. Louis, MO has managed to commit to a blog for an entire year. and a blog on a very specific subject that doesn't necessarily influence one on a daily basis? well i am impressed.

I have learned somethings about myself during this past year care of writing on this blog:

1. i now understand what a blog is.
2. i now understand why people are so obsessed with blogging.
3. i now understand how fun it is to write about nothing in particular for fun: not for school or work. just for ME.
4. i now realize that i really am a better writer than most and i enjoy it and i should do something with that knowledge.
5. i now know that jose padilla, accused terrorist, worked for taco bell.
6. i now know that it is possible to fill my brain with even more pointless information than i had previously collected.
7. i now know how taco bell brings out the curiosity in everyone. and how, whether or not people admit it, taco bell is a more important part of their lives than they had realized.

some other stuff too but that is enough for now.

so happy birthday, blog!! may you last another year for everyone's sake and may YUM! finally offer me a fun, creative, and useful work from home job.

Not Going To Cut It

2007-02-26T12:15:00.000-05:00

Here is Taco Bell's response to the news that a Taco Bell in Greenwich Village in NYC had a bit of a rat infestation:

"This is an isolated incident at a single restaurant at 331 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village, New York and it is totally unacceptable.

The restaurant is closed and we will not allow it to be reopened until it has been sanitized and given a complete bill of health.

We want to assure our customers that nothing is more important to us than food safety and their health."

I am SURE it is an isolated incident. Truly, i believe that. However, this press release leaves a lot of convincing to be desired.

Better luck next time, TB.

Advice to YUM! Brands: Blame New York City

2007-02-23T12:45:00.000-05:00

One of the coolest things about having a blog devoted to a very specific, semi-absurd topic is that when shit goes down with said topic, people remember me and my devotion to the topic and help me get vital information to the masses.

Today, I received 3 emails from friends within 10 minutes, reporting the news that a Taco Bell/KFC in New York was shut down because it was infestated with rats. Unfortunately, i saw the video and "infestation" is not an exaggeration. the reporting in this video is terrible, of course. a bit sensationalistic despite the issue at hand. Rats are running around in the DAYTIME. it is gross.

i am sad for Taco Bell. It takes a lot for me to (momentarily) question my allegience to taco bell but these rats did it.

also, in this video, the caption reads taco bell. however, it is a taco bell/kfc. why didn't the news put out an alert about KFC? they are trying to sensationalize the name, following up on the e-coli bit. tsk tsk tsk.

but do no fear. the blog and love shall continue because i have the real culprit in this situation: New York City. It is a dirty, dirty place. If that argument is not convincing enough for YUM! Brands to save its name, I suggest they ditch KFC. who needs fried chicken anyway? not me. not my blog.

so here are the articles on the topic. both are in the "money" section which is inapt.

http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/23/news/companies/taco_bell/index.htm?postversion=2007022310

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/Dispatch/TacoBellAndKFCNotSoYummy.aspx?GT1=9114

An Endorsement

2007-02-22T15:48:00.000-05:00

While awaiting inspiration, I am going to veer from the Taco Bell track and discuss politics.

no, not the awful president. or the even worse vice president.

TOPIC: Democratic Canidates for the Prez Nomination 2008

Faithful readers know my adoration of Mr. Barak Obama. I think he would serve our country a plate of much needed optimism. not the foolish because ignorant optimism Bush has been giving people for the last 6 plus years. Rather, Obama is a smart guy who has some optimism despite being well aware of our country's plight. i don't know where he gets it but i would like some of it.

and he's cute.

so i've said he's delicious as an enchirito. i will stick by that.

as for hilary, i think she'd be a terrific president. she is serious and smart. a little too politician-y but i would be happy with her nomination, supposing i thought she could win which is doubtful.

but now apparently the hilary and barak "camps" are in a fight. they are talking smack. i do not approve of this. barak does not support this but maybe he's going by the "anything for a buck" road. hopefully that won't last. hilary, well, she never promised to not run a negative campaign so i won't call her a hypocrit, but i am still disappointed.

which is why today my endorsement goes to bill richardson. i like him. he's out of the political fray. he's smart. he's reasonable. i don't know that he will stir the passion in liberals and democrats that hilary and barak could but as long as i decide to punish them, i am endorsing bill. i reserve the right to change my endorsement whenever and as often as i like.

congrats, bill. you did well in nevada. enjoy the pedestal while it lasts.

Not Quite Over the Hump

2007-02-21T15:52:00.000-05:00

I am not going to lie. My posts have been lacking in the last few weeks. There are a number of explanations, and i feel the need to share the to ensure that my readers do not lose faith in my uncanny ability to keep this blog interesting week after week, month after month, and soon, my friends, year after year.

here are my explanations:

1. last week i was sick
2. the week before i was consumed with a grad school application.
3. the week before i was really busy at work.
4. the week before i was uninspired.

so the excuse this week? i think i am still uninspired. i haven't had taco bell in awhile. no great news has arisen. despite the unseasonably warm january, february has been cold, perhaps the creativity part of my brain has frozen. i don't know.

looking for something funny and weird on which to comment, i google imaged taco bell. basically, there was nothing interesting. except for this sad finding:

A microscopic photo of E-Coli is on the first page of taco bell images. when will we be able to forget sad part of burrito history?

A Taco Bell Song

2007-02-20T15:52:00.000-05:00

Anne sent me these links recently. My hiatis unfortunately hindered my posting them immediately. It's good stuff, though.

the song:

You can't hear it in its entirity (copyright stuff) but give a listen. It's good. Then you can get a feel for the beat and read the lyrics linked below.

happy listening and reading!

clip: http://www.box.net/index.php?rm=box_v2_mp3_player_shared&node=f_40302700
lyrics: http://www.houseplantpicturestudio.com/HPS/togalyrics/taco.html